Psychos Quotes

“I immediately felt attracted to him, so I ignored him.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“If anyone wearing flip-flops tells you they’re doing well, they’re lying.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“We adopted a pug with cancer and changed his name from Lucas to Lulu Guinness. I’m in the process of turning him gay by telling him he’s gay every morning. It’s not working, but it gives me a purpose.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Endorphins were my cocaine and Lululemon pants were my rolled-up hundred-dollar bills.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“And then I totally lost consciousness, but I kept repeating those words: “I can’t.” Over and over and over. It was like a seizure fucked a blackout and gave birth to a litter of tourettes.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“When I first got to rehab, I was morbidly obese. Not physically, but emotionally.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Sometimes, when you arrive somewhere, it’s a good idea to pretend you can’t find the person you’re meeting, even if you’re looking right at them. I can’t really explain why, but it sets up a good power dynamic between you and your friends. Also, approaching large groups of people alone is not cute.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Well... don't tell anyone, but I've been getting a colonic every Saturday morning for the past two months. And I'm obsessed. It's like having anal sex but you lose weight instead of just feeling like a slut afterward”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“His intrusion into my life was an assault on everything I hold dear: my body, my mind, and my Birkins.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Getting people’s coffee and being passive-aggressively bitched at all day are two things that aren’t in my skill set.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“you will find a way to accept love. You will believe in yourself. You must believe that you can find love.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“pick up my hearty breakfast of green juice and an e-cigarette followed by a real cigarette.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Thanks, Lizbeth. Addiction is no joke. But I was never addicted to drugs. I was addicted to shopping, and that made me feel so good that I wanted to celebrate by taking drugs. What we resist enslaves us, but what we embrace, we become,” I explained calmly.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“I wrote apology letters and made amends with some loved ones whom I’d slandered in the past, told a nurse with bad skin that she was smart, met my birth mother for the first time, taught myself sign language, and accepted that the real reason people hate each other is because they hate themselves.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“In order for two people to truly fall in love, they both need to love themselves first.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“I’m not used to being around people who are happy, or stable, or normal.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“It was the only way I could be alone without reaching for my phone.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“a few representatives from the animal kingdom. They elegantly remind us that we’re all animals on this earth, constantly evolving yet eternally caged.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Strangers. It smelled like sugar and beer, which was alarming because I’d designed a lavender/old library scent with my aromist specifically for the event.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“then went about locating and booking rare tropical birds to make up for the party’s otherwise lack of wildlife. No post-rehab bash is complete without a few representatives from the animal kingdom. They elegantly remind us that we’re all animals on this earth, constantly evolving yet eternally caged.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“I accepted their offer because rejecting it would have made me look like a cunt, and I may be a cunt, but I sure as fuck didn’t want to look like one.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“I arrived at Charlie’s apartment building with one objective: smoke a joint, weigh myself, take a bath, eat something small, weigh myself again, and fall asleep watching a black-and-white movie.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“Ew to you telling me not to ew you, though.” “Ew to you having a stalker in the first place. It’s so nineties.” “Your tits are so nineties.” “Whatever.” “Whatever.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book

“You should get the ‘I Am Opulent.’ It’s filtered water enlivened with essential oils of grapefruit, lemon, peppermint, ginger, and cinnamon to calm digestion and uplift your being. It’s a bit on the heavy side, but I usually get it after traveling.” I smiled.”
― Babe Walker, Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book