[Citation Needed] 2 Quotes

“Dedicated to the guy who won the 40,000-word edit war over the capitalization of “Star Trek Into Darkness”
― Conor Lastowka, [Citation Needed] 2: The Needening: More of The Best of Wikipedia's Worst Writing

“List of Star Wars species (U–Z) Yuzzum They have been exported as pets, but are not very good at it. As a society that considers a Betta fish in a five ounce plastic cup of water a legitimate pet, let us take a moment to consider what would make a Yuzzum bad at being a pet. Explosive feces, right? It has to be explosive feces.”
― Conor Lastowka, [Citation Needed] 2: The Needening: More of The Best of Wikipedia's Worst Writing

“alt.sex.stories The newsgroup quickly became one of the most popular text-based newsgroups (i.e. not intended for posting binary files) on Usenet. Amateur writers of all sorts began posting fictional “erotic stories” and finding a worldwide audience for their work. However, because of the very nature of unmoderated newsgroups, alt.sex.stories soon found itself a repository for a great number of poorly-written, sometimes barely coherent “stroke” stories consisting of a few sentences or paragraphs. The average quality of the stories posted to the newsgroup seemed somewhat lower and more crude than the stories seen in pornographic magazines and books, and this state of affairs continues to the current day.[citation needed] Yes, the “stroke” stories certainly undermined the credibility of the newsgroup that had produced stories such as “Balling Lil’ Sis,” “Showtime - Part 6 Featuring Jennifer Love Hewitt and a Vanna White Lookalike,” and “Alex and Brian,” which features the immortal sentence “‘Shhhhhhh, if you do as i say you wont get this!’ he said as he pulled out a 12 inch dildo with the name ‘MegaMan’ on it.”
― Conor Lastowka, [Citation Needed] 2: The Needening: More of The Best of Wikipedia's Worst Writing

“You probably got a chuckle imagining the “cult-like” group that enjoys Mountain Holler. Some chubby gamers swigging it or perhaps ironic college students that initially only bought it because it was cheaper, but now claim to like it better than real Mountain Dew. But no, he really meant they’re like a cult. They’re twisted. They carved R.C.T.B. into the chest of an infant son of a member who had attempted to escape.”
― Conor Lastowka, [Citation Needed] 2: The Needening: More of The Best of Wikipedia's Worst Writing

“Victor Salva Victor Ronald Salva (born March 29, 1958) is an American film director. He is best known for directing the films Powder and Jeepers Creepers, and his conviction for child molestation. The fact that Jeepers Creepers II was left off this list of Salva’s notable accomplishments in favor of “child molestation conviction” is more damning than any Rotten Tomatoes ranking could ever be.”
― Conor Lastowka, [Citation Needed] 2: The Needening: More of The Best of Wikipedia's Worst Writing

“Soap tries to arrest the Punisher, but fails to stop him. Soap then becomes despondent; Castle then tells Soap when things aren’t getting better, to “just go”. Soap leaves the NYPD, moves to Los Angeles and becomes a porn star. Up to that point, he had simply been unaware that he has large genitals.”
― Conor Lastowka, [Citation Needed] 2: The Needening: More of The Best of Wikipedia's Worst Writing