Denial Quotes

“I had little idea what a homosexual was, and when it was explained to me that homosexuals like to have sex with others of the same gender, I found the whole notion pointless and inconceivable, like concrete clothing or square wheels. Later, when I grew a bit older, homosexuality seemed to be associated with anuses and fetishes and raunchy pornography—an impression which, come to think of it, gay activism in the 1970s did as much as it could to reinforce. In any case, homosexuality was clearly about certain acts of sex, which I felt were of no interest to me. What I was in the dark about was something which in fact much or most of the world still misunderstands: homosexuality is not about what you may or may not do for sex, it is about whom you fall in love with.”
― Jonathan Rauch, Denial: My 25 Years Without a Soul

“I abhor some of what Catholicism teaches about homosexuality, but I appreciate that in one respect the Church has come to see us whole. Where it used to regard homosexuality as a mere behavior, engaged in sinfully by heterosexuals, it now understands that some men love men and some women love women, and are so constituted as to have no meaningful choice in the matter. Where many denominations regard same-sex love itself as wicked, the Catholic Church asks of homosexuals not that they be heterosexual but that they remain celibate, which is, at least, possible. Now, to ask a human being to dwell in a bed of solitude without the touch of another, until God Himself extends His embrace, is to ask for the most profound and, for most people, enormous of sacrifices. Many people would rather die in loving company than live alone. That, indeed, is what makes the priestly vow of celibacy the supreme act of devotion that it is. There surely are some people who can live whole and healthy lives without sex. I know a middle-aged Catholic woman who, because she is both unmarried and devout, is celibate by choice. She is vibrant and proud, partly, of course, because her celibacy is chosen and principled, rather than furtive or paralytic. But to be celibate is one thing; to live without even the possibility of love is something else again, a stripping-out of self and soul which leaves behind an ageless child.”
― Jonathan Rauch, Denial: My 25 Years Without a Soul

“Whether one likes this or that person is less important, finally, than whether one likes oneself with this or that person.”
― Jonathan Rauch, Denial: My 25 Years Without a Soul

“IT IS VERY difficult for an ordinary heterosexual to imagine that an ordinary homosexual is in fact not, deep inside, a repressed heterosexual who needs to try harder with women or just get his act together.”
― Jonathan Rauch, Denial: My 25 Years Without a Soul