How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight Quotes

“... the Possession Diet. It's fast. It works. It introduces you to new, healthier foods. And it's almost never fatal.”
― Chris Dolley, How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight

“Professor Raylene's ground breaking study found that subjects with Tourrette's Syndrome burned more calories than Lutherans.”
― Chris Dolley, How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight

“Stepford University--one of the leading research university on the PLANET with over THREE MILLION likes on Facebook. That's more than Harvard, and SIX times as many as Stanford.”
― Chris Dolley, How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight

“He likens the physical being to a car, and the spiritual being to the driver. And possession is like carrying a passenger who shares the driving. And occasionally takes the car out for a spin without telling you. And maybe ties you up and stuffs you in the trunk.”
― Chris Dolley, How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight

“Clinical trials have proven that projectile vomiting is up to FOUR times more efficient than ordinary vomiting. You don't even have to run to the bathroom! With practice, and careful placement of your chair within thirty feet--and line of sight--of your bathroom, you can project your lunch from the comfort of your armchair.”
― Chris Dolley, How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight

“Spirits have cravings--they're only human (well, some of them are)--but the amazing thing about these cravings is that they are SLIMMING POSITIVE! That's right, spirits don't crave sugary foods, or fat, or chocolate, or deep-fried carbs. They crave HEALTHY food like raw liver and bugs and those tiny dried-up foods you find in old attics and the better-stocked graveyards.”
― Chris Dolley, How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight