The Creeps Quotes

“Being clever is not just about how much you know, but about knowing that you really don’t know very much at all.”
― John Connolly, The Creeps

“Henry VIII, for example, who was king of England from 1509 to 1547, ended his days surrounded by a great many young people for the simple reason that he’d had most of his old courtiers exiled or executed. Between the years 1532 and 1540 alone, Henry ordered 330 political executions, probably more than any other ruler in British history. If you worked for Henry VIII, then you really didn’t need to worry about putting money into your pension fund as you probably wouldn’t live long enough to spend it.”
― John Connolly, The Creeps

“A job, in their view, was a job, and, as with most jobs, you just had to find that perfect balance between doing as little as possible so you didn’t get tired, and just enough so that you didn’t get fired.”
― John Connolly, The Creeps

“This bottle contains Spiggit’s Old Resentful. Do Not Open. Seriously. Even creating this beer was a mistake, but all attempts to destroy it have proved useless. If you do open this bottle, you agree to give up all right to your health, and possibly your existence. Before opening, ask innocent bystanders to stand well back, or suggest that they move to another country. Do not open near naked flame. Do not so much as THINK of a naked flame in your head. Do not even smile warmly. Do not inhale. If inhaled, seek medical assistance within five seconds. If consumed, seek undertaker. INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE: Open. Run away.”
― John Connolly, The Creeps: A Samuel Johnson Adventure: 3

“There is a certain type of shop that just loves sticking the letter ‘e’ on the end of words in the hope it will make said shop appear older and more respectable. Businesses selling candles, sweeties, Christmas decorations, and models of fairies are particularly prone to this, although in reality the only thing that the 'e’ adds is ten percent extra on to the price of everything. Mr Pennyfarthinge’s fondness for the 'Olde E’ was so extreme as to qualifye as a forme of mentale illnesse.”
― John Connolly, The Creeps