The Book of Sheen Quotes

“Don’t wish your days away”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen

“--drugs and responsible are two words I never made a habit of cramming into the same sentence.”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen

“They could’ve paid me ten mil and I still wouldn’t have been able to reach up and buy those cartoony lederhosen off the screen on opening night. (You’ve all paused your Kindle to google that photo. It’s kool; I deserve it.)”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen

“We can live the stories or hear about them later from others. I choose the former.”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen

“lasciviously.”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen

“On my birthday in ’17, I Mickey Finned myself and blacked out in Iowa after a drinking contest with Wade Boggs (which they tell me I lost). I came to twelve hours later in a hotel room and had to call the front desk to find out that I was in fukken Dallas. There was an entire airport I have no memory of walking through, and a two-hour flight that exists nowhere in my mind. God sent the helicopter. It flew away without me.”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen

“The rain had shifted sideways, forcing me to use the umbrella like the bulletproof James Bond version. Doing so exposed my face, and that was all man with the donkey needed. In a split second from fifty feet away, he recognized me like an old pal from his childhood. As soon as we made eye contact, my arcane watcher called out in an accent as thick as the downpour, “Hey man—the new guy sucks!” If my jaw wasn’t attached it would still be on the ground in that hallowed courtyard. We traded a slow-motion thumbs-up as I sloshed past my new favorite person and his trusty burro, into the shelter of the sacred abbey. Knowing exactly who he’d been referring to made the moment that much more surreal. In frikkin’ Colombia—on a tip from the local dope man, at the oldest church on the continent, in a monsoon at the top of a mountain—guy in mud with donkey stood in solidarity rejecting the guy who replaced me on Two and a Half Men. If that scene was in a movie, the screen would be pelted with bonbons and shoes. The illogical probability of our encounter doesn’t exist in any realm I have the ability to access. I’ll leave the quantum math to the experts—sometimes it rains, and sometimes you get stuck in that rain with people you’d never otherwise meet.”
― Charlie Sheen, The Book of Sheen