Death Rejoices Quotes

“Look, I'm sick. It's early. Don't tick me off or I'll toss your salad.” He stopped short, and I could tell he wanted to gape at me, but was too tired to bother. “Whatever could that phrase mean, my darling?” I shrugged. “Heard it in a movie once. It's something they do to each other in prison, so it's gotta be bad.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Bad dreams are rehearsals for the struggle to survive; they exist to prepare us in the waking world.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Any time before eight A.M., no amount of birds chirping, sun shining or caffeine will perk me, and the slightest irritation is met with the threat of bleary-eyed violence. A”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“I have been sexually assaulted by a madwoman, agent. She hit my head on the ground and forced my face against her breasts. There may have been humping.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Sharing pain with someone isn't something to take lightly. Every month, Chapel sent me chocolates for my PMS cravings, and I took Midol to lessen his discomfort.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Awesome,” I whispered. “Zombie schlong. Just the thing to start my day.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Have we met?” I asked. “Because I don't recognize you at all.” “Then by all means, allow me to introduce myself,” Harry said, his easy playfulness returning. He stepped closer, straightening the blood-soaked black lace at his collar, backing me up with his soft, padding approach. “I am the icy push of immortality through your veins. I am the grave-wrought hand around your heart. I am the cold wind that blows up your skirt.” He crooked a brow at me. “Do you require a more tangible reminder, DaySitter?”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“I’m a recovering avoidaholic, which is something like an alcoholic, only with more swearing and fewer meetings.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Why did that work?” Batten wanted to know. “Dissolved by the chemical horror of diet soft drinks?” I suggested. “Maybe Monsanto really is the greater of two evils.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“How sure about that are you, on a scale of one to whoops?”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“the only thing I was apt to make Gone in 60 Seconds was a pan of brownies.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“My name's Marnie Baranuik, and I'm not usually a squirrel; I'm a recovering cookie addict, ex-forensic psychic, and head of the pre-ternatural biology department at the Boulder branch of Chapel's PCU. Mostly, I feed rat brains to zombie beetles and fail to solve Sudoku puzzles. Don't get me wrong, I've done dozens of super-serious stake-outs; this time, it was even for a real case.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“A mouse in a house belongs to the housecat,”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“We have to think like Kill-Notch,” I told Declan, strutting back to the Kawasaki. “How do we do that?” he asked. “Pretend we have massive testicles and no tractability whatsoever.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“If I was going to die on a dark and stormy night at the hands of an undead pervert and his horse-cocked unicorn of an assistant, I wanted it to happen in a horror movie mansion like this one.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Every heart has a vacancy that can only be filled by the one who created it.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Nice try,” he said, “and nice underwear. Are those frogs? This is so going on Twitter.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Best while you have it, use your breath. There is no drinking after death.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“As if hearing me, Zombie Dunnachie said, “Rend bowel … rend bowel …” “Aren't you supposed to moan ‘braaaaaaains’ and shamble toward me?” “Rend. Hack. Bludg—uck.” It opened its mouth and its tongue fell out with a little splut. The undead chief deputy didn't seem to notice. I looked at the slab of rotten meat wriggling in the dust. “You dropped your tongue, there.” I pointed helpfully. “Wem bowow.” “Well, now nobody's gonna take you seriously.” “Errrrrggggh!” “That's more like it! Who's a good zombie? You are. Yes you are!”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“What are you, Declan Edgar?”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“All night, all night, you bathe my poodle.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“I am the icy push of immortality through your veins. I am the grave-wrought hand around your heart. I am the cold wind that blows up your skirt.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“The aroma of him this close was astonishingly bad, spoiled meat and rampant disease, ripe cheese and anal leakage.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“it made me want to bust his kneecaps and then ride his body once it hit the floor.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices

“Batten was a dark hunk of manly perfection sent to torture womankind with unfulfilled erotic daydreams and sexual frustration.”
― A.J. Aalto, Death Rejoices