Last Rites Quotes

“But life’s never that easy, is it? Even the calmest, bluest ocean has a turd bobbing around in it somewhere. And there was a massive one headed right for me.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“Honestly, I’d have gone to the opening of a fucking envelope just for the change of scenery.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“Meanwhile, whenever Lemmy had a hangover – which was rare for him, ’cos his tolerance was off the charts – he’d say he’d had a ‘heavy night on the chemistry set’.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“What I couldn’t wrap my head around was why people were panic-buying toilet paper, not food. ‘Do they think we’re being attacked by an army of arseholes?”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“I’ve got socks down the back of the sofa that are older than him.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“I’ve honestly lost count of the ways in which getting old sucks.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“At the same time, I ain’t gonna pretend he didn’t seem like a kid. I mean, he was born in 1990. I’ve got socks down the back of the sofa that are older than him.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“what’s the point of being alive if you can’t enjoy it?”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“I felt like I was about a foot off the ground with a double rainbow shooting out of my arse.
[Right after Ozzy did a bump after waiting for the cop in the stall next to him to finish his business and he did it when the cop flushed the toilet. At the airport in Texas. He called the cop "Captain Crapper"]”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“We eventually got to the point where we were flying everywhere with our dealer. That's how relaxed we were about carrying drugs around. He was basically a member of the band.....
The guy never left our side. He was like our own personal blow butler.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“Dr Fix it'....Suddenly it all came back to me. By complete accident, Sharon had found the exact same bloke Zakk had recommended the day after my fall. The bloke we'd never bothered to call. Until now... I couldn't believe it. If my legs had worked, I would have kicked myself. Meanwhile, Sharon was groaning as the same thing dawned on her. When we finally caught each other's eye, we just burst out laughing....I wanted to call Zakk right then and apologize for not listening.....Everything happens for a reason....better late than never.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“I've gotta say,until that point I'd never, ever wanted to use Zoom. I mean, meetings are bad enough. But a meeting on a computer seemed like one stage removed from having your teeth pulled out.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“Why the fuck had I ever thought John Bonham was the best custodian for a pile of cocaine big enough to march the Bolivian army to the moon and back?”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“It was crazy. Thanks to all the cocaine I'd been doing, I'd spent the best part of a decade avoiding the guy who sang "Cocaine," for no good reason at all. [Eric Clapton]”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“I was a lot closer with John Bonham than I ever was with Bon. In fact, I knew all the guys in Zeppelin from way back.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“I was close enough friends with John that I once trusted him with my entire stash of coke. (Referring to John Bonham, drummer for Led Zeppelin)”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“Sharon first told me Yungblud was gonna perform, I never realised he had such an incredible vocal range. But fuck me, the guy can sing. Everyone was just bowled over by his version of ‘Changes’. It was phenomenal. He sang it so well, man. It’s gonna be released as a single, apparently, with the proceeds going to charity.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites: Never-before-told stories of a legendary life from the rock 'n' roll hellraiser

“People are people. Life’s messy. And the longer you live, the messier it gets.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“people should do what they’ve gotta do, man. And more important than that, they should make sure to have some fun while they’re at it – ’cos you never know when or how your ride’s gonna end.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites

“The doc gave me a look like he wanted to punch a hole in the wall.”
― Ozzy Osbourne, Last Rites