Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief Quotes

“not least because there’s something unique about being dissed by a priest.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Everyone steals, whether it's product or effort, money or time. There's more you can steal from a man than just his wallet. Air, for example.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Solving murders is just a series of people lying to you in succession: the detective part is figuring out which lies are worth killing for. It's an endless pinball of deceit.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“You don’t need to solve every little thing. Just solve the things that matter.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Given I’m dying, and have just the one pen, let’s motor through the pleasantries.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“love passive-aggressive office signs”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Believe it or not, all of the science in this book is theoretically possible. Theoretically being that favourite word of fiction writers everywhere, given how it stretches like mozzarella to cover our arses. To save you googling it: pistachios do spontaneously combust, and Holmes’s famous case would indeed be more like The Hound of the Barbecues. The rest is . . . well . . . theoretical.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Do alcoholics drink at the one pub?’ That did make a certain amount of sense.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Hell, it’s the same reason we read Agatha Christie: because someone good, someone impeccably moral, will set things right. Golden Age fiction was popular between the World Wars because it was justice served in a topsy-turvy world.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“Irony is quite neat in fiction, but in real life it’s smug and annoying.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

“As for the teapot, think of it like art. Put a painting up in a frame: so what? Sticky-tape a banana to a wall and put a security guard next to it, voila–it’s valuable, purely because you make it look like it might be.”
― Benjamin Stevenson, Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief