Evil Spy School Quotes

“Her father had once showed me a baby picture of her playing with nunchucks.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Apparently, the folks at SPYDER really liked fro-yo sundaes: There were dozens of toppings, ranging from crumbled toffee to rainbow sprinkles.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“No one can die like I can.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“So . . . it’s kind of like evil spy school.” Joshua frowned. “I suppose. Although we prefer to call it the Wiseman Preparatory Academy.” “Why?” “Because ‘Evil Spy School’ sounds a little suspicious, don’t you think?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“All right,” Zoe said. “I’ll turn you in.” “Thanks. You’re a good friend.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Kill them quickly?” Murray asked, without bothering to raise his hand. “Really? Isn’t it more fun to draw their death out a little? To make them suffer?” Joshua sighed. “No. We’re not James Bond villains here, kids. The more you draw out your enemy’s deaths, the more chance they have to escape. So no lowering them into pools full of crocodiles or trying to slice them in half with lasers or anything like that. Just shoot them and be done with it.” Ashley”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“On the other hand, I came from a long line of grocers.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“a nine, an ampersand, one of those weird O’s with a line through it that the Swedish like so much.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Apparently, some agents like to listen to music when safecracking.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Out the window, a CIA paddy wagon was parked in front of the diner. Ashley Sparks was being loaded inside, her hands cuffed behind her back. She had regained consciousness and was screaming at everyone. I thought I could make out the words “I stuck the landing.” Zoe, Chip, Jawa, and Warren sat in a corner booth, away from the action. To my surprise, Nefarious was with them. He was cuffed as well, but he looked far happier than Ashley. He wasn’t an outcast anymore; he was the center of attention. He was talking animatedly—spilling his guts about SPYDER, perhaps—and my friends were hanging on his every word, fascinated. There was no sign of Murray Hill. He had apparently escaped. And Joshua Hallal certainly wasn’t there. He’d probably been in another country when the missiles fired. Along with the rest of the higher-ups at SPYDER. I was too tired to feel frustrated about this. Instead, I felt proud of myself. Maybe the bad guys had escaped to fight another day, but for the time being, I’d helped thwart their plans once again. My first undercover mission had been a success. Suddenly, Erica’s hand tensed in mine. I looked over at her. She was awake now. Or at least, kind of awake. Her eyelids still drooped and she seemed a bit zoned out. “Hey,” she said. She sounded oddly far away, even though she was only a few inches from me. It was probably due to my ears still recovering from the blast. “Hey,” I replied. “How are you feeling?” “Excellent. But that’s probably because they’ve given us painkillers.” It occurred to me that this was probably why I felt so calm myself. “Thanks for saving me,” Erica said. It was the type of comment she never would have made unless she was doped up on medication. “I owe you one.” “How about this,” I suggested. “Next time you decide to bring me on a mission, you tell me about it first?” “It’s a deal.” Erica’s eyes began to slide shut again. “In fact, next mission, I’ll ask them to make us equal partners.” “Really?” I asked. “You’d do that for me?” “Of course. That’s what friends are for.” Erica gave me a dreamy smile, then dozed off again. I wondered if she’d ever remember saying that. But for the time being, I was too tired to care. Even with all the chaos around me, I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep as well, Erica’s hand still firmly clenched in mine.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“It was very difficult to drop a radio receiver into a shoe on the beach when you were dressed like a bush. People tended to notice bushes wandering around.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“I’d been aiming for his head, hoping to knock him unconscious, but as usual, my aim was off and I nailed him in the groin instead.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“I felt groggy, like I’d been drugged. It took me only a few seconds to figure out why: I had been drugged.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Uh, Ben? Has something gone wrong?” “Yes.” “On a scale of one to ten…?” “Twenty-three.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Hey,” I replied. “How are you feeling?” “Excellent. But that’s probably because they’ve given us painkillers.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Who’s the dead chick?” Chip asked, pointing to Ashley. “She’s not dead,” I told him. “She’s unconscious. And she’s a junior SPYDER agent.” “She’s cute,” Chip said. “Ugh!” Zoe cried. “Chip, she’s evil!” “Maybe on the inside,” Chip told her. “But she’s cute on the outside.” “Is that Ashley Sparks, the gymnast?” Warren asked. “Yes,” I replied. “Though now she’s an evil gymnast.” “She was my favorite!” Warren exclaimed. “She really should have been on the U.S. Olympic team. The judge was blind. She stuck that landing.” “So I’ve heard,” I said.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Most of them were. Where’s everyone now?” “They evacuated,” Jawa said, running up from the basketball courts. Chip and Warren were with him. Chip had a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder that appeared to be crammed full of equipment. Despite the urgency of the situation, I couldn’t help but smile upon seeing my friends. “We should evacuate too!” Warren informed us. “It seems like something bad is about to happen to this place.” “Then why are you still here?” Zoe asked. “We were looking for you,” Chip told her. “Aw,” Zoe gushed. “You guys are so sweet!” “It was my idea,” Warren said.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Erica, Murray, and Nefarious were a good distance ahead of us, although I could still hear Murray. “How could they even think of me as a loose end? I’m not a loose end! I’m a core part of the team!” “Maybe they got tired of hearing you whine all the time,” Erica told him. “I’ve only been with you a few minutes and I’m ready to blow you up.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Yeah. Spy school let me pick three friends to come along. So I brought Jawa, ’cause he’s almost as smart as you; Chip, ’cause he’s tough; and Warren, because he’d have thrown a fit if I didn’t pick him.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Hey, Ben!” she said cheerfully, as though we’d just run into each other in the school cafeteria, rather than in a secret underground enemy lair that was about to blow up.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Erica was adept in all forms of combat while I had the martial arts skills of a bowl of Jell-O.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Rather than argue the point, Erica simply launched herself down the zip line and dragged me along with her.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Hey,” Alexander said, his chloroform haze finally dissipating. “Those people were trying to kill us! This isn’t fun at all!” “Nice of you to join us.” Cyrus turned toward the pier in New Jersey, where we’d started out that night, but now saw there were reinforcements coming from that direction. A lot of reinforcements. Twelve boats in all. Alexander’s eyes grew as big as golf balls with fear. “They’ve cut off our escape route!” “I noticed.” Cyrus cursed under his breath and reoriented us toward the tip of Manhattan. All the other boats slewed in the water a bit as they changed course behind us, then revved their engines and rejoined the chase. “Without an escape route, we can’t escape!” Alexander babbled. “What do we do now?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Alexander wrinkled his nose at the smell and then his eyes opened wide in alarm. He began huffing in air, building up to what looked to be an enormous sneeze. Cyrus wheeled on him with a don’t-you-dare-make-a-noise expression. Alexander looked around desperately, spotted the handkerchief poking out of my utility belt, snatched it away, and placed it to his nose, stifling the sneeze at the last second. He sighed with relief—and then realized, a bit too late, that the rag was soaked in chloroform. “Oh shoot,” he said, and then collapsed face-first onto the sand.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Leave the cat.” “He can’t come?” Alexander asked, upset. “No pets on missions,” Cyrus stated flatly. “You can come back for him if we survive.” Alexander sadly set the cat on the ground. “Don’t worry, Mr. Wigglebottom,” he said. “I’ll come back for you. I promise.” Mr. Wigglebottom strolled away unconcerned, like he had already forgotten about us. Alexander sniffled and wiped away a tear.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Alexander looked completely stunned by how I’d come through the wall. Erica looked as though she were trying her best not to look stunned.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Can you feel the power churning through you?” The only thing I could feel churning was my stomach.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Maybe they’d notified security as well. So I moved as slowly and carefully as possible. At one point, a beetle passed me.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“Good. You’re two minutes late, by the way.” I wasn’t. But there was no way to argue that via coughing. So I had to just suck up the criticism.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School

“I felt embarrassed, though I wasn’t sure if this was because Erica had fooled me, or because I was hearing her voice in my ear while I was naked.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Evil Spy School