The Professional Quotes

“How the hell do you call Russia from Greece? It’s like trying to figure out rela-fucking-tivity. And still, I gave it several shots. Of Ouzo. Seriously, you have no idea how much your situation is affecting me. I’ve been stress-eating my way across Greece.”
I frowned. “You don’t stress-eat—”
“Cock, Natalie. I was stress-eating cock. There, you made me say it, happy now?”
“Opa!”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“I wasn’t a big fan of women trying to fix men, to change them. I always figured there were guys enough out there, so I should look for a total package that was already fully Ikea-assembled—or go without.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“I’ll consider myself lucky, my elusive girl, once you consider yourself taken. Every man has a weakness; you are mine. I’ve accepted that. Now you must accept me.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“Wow, he must get more ass than a toilet seat!”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“A body like that was good for two things that started with f. And fighting was the other one.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“When a woman singles me out”—he leaned down to murmur at my ear—“it’s because she wants to get fucked. She looks at the scars and tattoos and knows she’ll get fucked hard.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“I didn’t need to be kissing a man who’d ruthlessly cut me out of his life. Didn’t need to reward his shitty treatment of me. Jess had an m.o. for dealing with badly behaving males—she called it ABC: Always Be Crazier.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“My entire mind-set about the deed was evolving. Insight: if a guy I had sex with ever carved a notch into his bedpost, I’d tell him to carve one into mine too—and then to go make me a fucking sammich.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“It made you happy, to be used by me?” Perhaps not so promising. I raised my brows with amusement. “I orgasmed three times; you did once. Who’s using whom, Siberian?”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“How could I close you out when I never let you in?”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“It was a renovated train station housing galleries of famous French impressionists and other artists of the period. Van Gogh’s Starry Night over the Rhone, my favorite of them all, was . . . here.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“I had an uncanny knack for sizing up males—I was a regular “manalyst.” My secret? I always went negative, and the guys, well, they always accommodated.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“In general, I tried not to take myself too seriously—I called myself “the manalyst,” after all. My life’s motto: Joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“Ya sptryu na to shto prenodlezhit mne.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“I was pretty sure I’d just been grinding this man’s face while deep-throating him.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional

“Why do you insist on calling me pet?” “Maybe because you make a man want to collar and keep you.”
― Kresley Cole, The Professional