Mike Dies At The End Quotes

“...A certain amount of clutter is expected. Hell, you find it everywhere. Cyphers on cereal boxes, fractals in sidewalk cracks, dead cats who don't understand why you're not paying attention to them-- Why are you looking at me like that?”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“I didn't even comment; it was like yelling at a bird for shitting on your car.

This Story Is Full of Scorpions: Seriously, Dude, Don't Read It, a sequel to Mike Dies At The End”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“One long purple tentacle snaked up my leg, and I very manfully did not wet my pants, though it was close.

This Story Is Full of Scorpions: Seriously, Dude, Don't Read It, a sequel to Mike Dies At The End”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“Mike was lots of things -- a dickhead, a jackass, an asshole, a cocky bastard, a shitstain, a fuckwit -- but he wasn't ever scared. Being scared required certain sensible parts of his brain I'd lay good money on his having been born without.

This Story Is Full of Scorpions: Seriously, Dude, Don't Read It, a sequel to Mike Dies At The End”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“It's one of those things that feels awesome at the time but feels so stupid when you talk about it later, like when you're jerking off to porn and five seconds after you come, you can't believe what the hell crap it was that just made you shoot your load. But he was there and my knees were touching my shoulders and it was all great.

This Story Is Full of Scorpions: Seriously, Dude, Don't Read It, a sequel to Mike Dies At The End”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“There's a rule in horror movies that says the last thing you want to do in a haunted house emergency is go upstairs, and I respect the good sense and logic it tries to convey. But when you're facing down two tons of anthropomorphic silicone and your best friend yells, "Stairs!", by God, you're going to run up those stairs like you're Rocky Balboa.”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“There are some things which, by the very act of existing, negate the possibility of a benevolent God. Genocide. Child molesters. Snow boots with shorts. The fauxhawk. Antonin Scalia.

And RealDolls.”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“It was at that moment Mike's voice -- "I found Elvis!" -- rang through the house. It was our code for 'I have discovered something so inexplicably weird that it cannot be described and you must come see it for yourself'. If ever we actually did find Elvis, I figured, we'd have to think of something else.”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End

“I took a left into what must once have been a nice living room, inwardly pleased at how literally Ty was taking my 'stay close' instruction.”
― shukyou, Mike Dies At The End