Charming Quotes

“I disbelieved what he was saying so hard that I probably created an alternate universe where it wasn't true.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“She didn't drink wine, and even if she did, I didn't know if red or white was appropriate for telling a woman that you want to kill her former lover. Do they have greeting cards for that sort of thing?”
― Elliott James, Charming

“The woman set Sig's chocolate orgy out in front of her and deposited my steak on the table.
"Y'all must work out," the waitress observed a little sourly. She apparently did not.
"I'm going to throw this up later," Sig said expressionlessly.
"I have a tapeworm," I said cheerfully.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Popular young adult novels notwithstanding, vampires only sparkle when they burn.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I'm a mean mother-hmmnhmmnh man of God," she informed me. "Except that I'm a woman, of course."
"You just quoted something, didn't you?" I asked.
"Yes, I did," Molly agreed. She seemed calm but her heart was beating fat. "From Dusk Till Dawn. Its a vampire movie with George Clooney."
"Is it too late to get a different priest?" Choo wondered. "Like maybe one who quotes The Bible?”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Molly reached over and patted my shoulder. “It’s OK, sweetie. I’m a lesbian.” “That’s it. I definitely want myself a new priest,” Choo said. “Episcopalians will let anybody in,” Molly agreed. “It’s all the drinking that goes on at our conferences. Half the time when our bishops are raising their hands to vote, they think they’re ordering another scotch.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Have you ever tried to use your eyes to tell someone that you want them, that because of them you're going to do the best you can to survive but that you're willing to die if that's the cost of putting yourself between them and anything that means them harm? That you don't care if they're playing you, or if what you have is really love, or if the two of you have a shot at lasting, that the very fact that they exist has made you come back to life in some way that's terrifying and exhilarating? A few seconds isn't long enough, especially when the person you're looking at is staring back as if she wants to pull you inside her and crush the two of you into one being.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Pinky: I've been in this kind of situation before. Fourth finger: I've felt these feelings before. Middle finger: I've survived them every time. Index finger: Everybody dies eventually. Thumb: That includes my enemies.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Sig idly stuck her index finger in her cup of steaming-hot coffee and stirred it. I couldn't decide it it was mildly erotic or mildly disgusting.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I live like a Nazi war criminal or a serial killer... like I have something to be ashamed of.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I reached my hand out and held it palm open next to hers, and after a moments hesitation she took my hand and squeezed it. I felt absurdly happy.
We were a couple of badass monster killers all right. Maybe on the way back to Choo's she'd let me buy her an ice cream cone.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I wanted to live, and the knowledge filled me with a fierce and exultant joy until I felt like flame in a world made of paper. I wanted to live.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I was sad but it felt like the sadness was pouring out of me instead of poisoning me. I felt like I had been sleeping in the dark, not knowing I was in a coffin until someone pried the lid off. It hurt, but it was good, the way love is supposed to be.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“OK, but you maybe saved my life, and you've seen me naked," I said. "In some countries we just got married. Can i at least know what name you go by?”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Coffee is one of the few constants in my life,” I explained. “No matter where I go, no matter how crappy a day I’m having, no matter what kind of mood I’m in, coffee is always there to make me feel a little better.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“For a certain type of person, running toward the things that scare them is the only thing that gives them any sense of control.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“The vampires weren’t the only ones who thought you were dead,” Sig observed as she cut her double order of French toast into dainty little bite-size portions. “I’m going to shove a cell phone so far up your ass that you’re going to burp ringtones.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I just don't like the idea of going down that hole tomorrow with this thing hanging over you and me like..." She stopped and struggled for a good simile.
"Like an open airplane storage locker?" I offered.
(...)
"I like the 'open airplane storage compartment' thing better. It means there's a journey with lots of baggage."
"And things being balanced precariously," I added.
"And a lack of closure," she said.
"Ok," I admitted. "I could start bullshitting about frequent flier miles or something, but I cant really think of any more good ones.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“The truth is, love is everyone’s inconsistency. It makes all of us stupid. The dumbest and weakest things I’ve ever done all involved trying to make my life fit around someone I wanted, or trying to make someone I wanted be someone they weren’t.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“One of the hardest things on the nerves is to wait for a fight that may or may not happen...”
― Elliott James, Charming

“Mike’s harmless.” “No,” Sig corrected. “He’s powerless. There’s a difference.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“They say you should be careful what you wish for. If you survive long enough, you learn that you should be careful what you laugh at.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“And let’s face it, humans willingly subjugate themselves to others all the time: to pimps, parents, drugs, abusive partners, asshole employers, deadbeat lovers, children, peer groups, etc.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“It’s important to me to do the right thing,” Sig continued. “Sure,” I said. “Because you grew up feeling blamed for things you had no control over, by”
― Elliott James, Charming

“people who were supposed to be taking care of you. You knew that there was some secret reason your protectors were keeping you at a distance, but you didn’t know what it was. Instead of giving you unconditional love, they gave you a code and a roof and just enough encouragement to keep you from becoming a complete asshole, but you wanted more. You wanted to prove to yourself that the world was wrong, that God was wrong, that whatever mysterious fucking power in the universe was making you feel guilty all the time was wrong, that you would be a good person given half a chance. And you worked hard for that chance, you’re still working for that chance, but you don’t really believe deep down that anyone else is ever really going to give you a fair shot.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“The vampires weren’t the only ones who thought you were dead,” Sig observed as she cut her double order of French toast into dainty little bite-size portions. “I’m going to shove a cell phone so far up your ass that you’re going to burp ringtones.” I”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I’ve got this thing I do when my mind starts to spiral before a fight. I unfold my fingers and concentrate on them one by one until my feelings narrow into focused calm. I associate each finger with a specific phrase, and if I have time, I recite them to myself like mantras.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“I’ve got this thing I do when my mind starts to spiral before a fight. I unfold my fingers and concentrate on them one by one until my feelings narrow into focused calm. Pinky: I've been in this kind of situation before. Fourth finger: I've felt these feelings before. Middle finger: I've survived them every time. Index finger: Everybody dies eventually. Thumb: That includes my enemies.”
― Elliott James, Charming

“life doesn’t have any respect for dramatic pauses.”
― Elliott James, Charming