The Human Magnet Syndrome Quotes

“Because feeling needed is mistaken for being loved, they experience a wealth of distorted “love” in relationships with narcissists.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“Codependents confuse caretaking and sacrifice with loyalty and love. Although they are proud of their unwavering dedication to the person they love, they end up feeling unappreciated and used. Codependents yearn to be loved, but because of their choice of dance partner, find their dreams unrealized. With the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams, codependents silently and bitterly swallow their unhappiness. Codependents are essentially stuck in a pattern of giving and sacrificing, without the possibility of ever receiving the same from their partner. They pretend to enjoy the dance, but secretly harbor feelings of anger, bitterness, and sadness for not taking a more active role in their dance experience. They are convinced they will never find a dance partner who will love them for who they are, as opposed to what they can do for them. Their low self-esteem and pessimism manifests as a form of learned helplessness that ultimately keeps them on the dance floor with their narcissistic partner.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“Most codependents are selfless and deferential to the needs and desires of others over themselves. They are pathologically caring, responsible, and sacrificing people whose altruism and good deeds are rarely reciprocated.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“Due to unconscious, trauma-based psychological forces, codependents and pathological narcissists are almost always attracted to each other. The resulting relationship is mostly breakup resistant. Narcissists benefit the most from this situation.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“Codependents are drawn to pathological narcissists because they feel comfortable and familiar with a person who knows how to direct, control, and lead. The narcissistic dancer is simply the yin to their yang. Their giving, sacrificial, and passive codependence matches up perfectly with their partners entitled, demanding, and self-centered nature.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“This is because pathological narcissists lack the psychological resources, ability, and insight to stay focused on what is wrong with themselves.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“To varying degrees, all pathological narcissists are selfish, self-consumed, demanding, entitled, and controlling. They are exploitative people who rarely or selectively reciprocate any form of generosity. Pathological narcissists are only empathetic or sensitive to others when doing so results in a tangible reward for themselves and/or when it makes them feel valued, important, and appreciated. Because narcissists are deeply impacted by their personal shame and loneliness, but consciously unaware of it, they do not end their relationships. Positive treatment results are rare for narcissists.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“They cannot leave their narcissistic partner because their lack of self-esteem and self-respect makes them feel like they can do no better. Being alone is the equivalent of feeling lonely, and loneliness is too painful to bear.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap

“one moment they may seem calm and serene and deeply in love with their partner, but at the next, they may be triggered by an event that leads them to feel criticized or abandoned, which irrationally provokes an outburst of harmful aggressive rage. The perception of impending separation or rejection can lead to profound changes in the manner in which they think about themselves and others as well as their emotional stability and behavior. Whether real or imagined, a thought or reminder that they could be rejected or abandoned causes them to strike back at their romantic partner with rage and aggressive hostility. A mistaken comment, a benign”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us

“A self-orientation is defined as the manner in which we love, care for and respect ourselves and others while in a relationship.”
― Ross Rosenberg, The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us