Grace Based Parenting Quotes

“Some girls know that their dads wish they had been born boys. Some boys figure out that their mothers would rather have had girls. Kids hear when we lament how much work they are when they are little. Teenagers roll their eyes when we announce, “They’re teens— what do you expect?” On the other hand, when they hear us say that it’s an honor to have them in our home, that we are grateful for the chance to do all the things they need us to do for them (like haul them around, or spend a lot of money on them), they sense acceptance that makes them feel securely loved. Our attitude shouldn’t be that we “have” to do all these things for them, but that we “get” to.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“the opposite— He notices it. In Revelation 3:19 Jesus says, “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.” God knows that if our sinful choices do not have consequences, they will destroy us. Because He loves us and doesn’t want that to happen to us, He brings about consequences in our life that cause us to learn from our mistakes. The “acceptance” I’m talking about is for those things that are part of our children’s personal makeup. These are the unique things that make them individuals—the emotional, intellectual, and physical DNA. These are also the things that have no moral problems affixed to them. Many of our kids do things that annoy, frustrate, or embarrass us, but they are not wrong. Every time we point these things out, we tell them that they don’t measure up. This builds a foundation of insecurity in them. Boys are often berated because they are noisy, messy, or aggressive. Girls are often criticized for being too emotional, picky, or overly sensitive. Some kids are criticized for being slow, forgetful, or inquisitive, or for saying whatever pops into their heads. They have a hard time getting up, struggle in certain subjects in school,”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Those who think that the wisest way to groom a child for spiritual maturity is to isolate him from the evil, corrupted world system or airbrush his childhood environment so much that it exposes only him to the good and never teaches him how to process the bad (or the counterfeit) will set a child up for a life of mediocrity at best and spiritual annihilation at worst.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Leaving the world nicer than you found it, making a commitment to a lifetime of learning, paying attention to what you learn from life’s experience so that you are more valuable to others, and being committed to developing the potential of as many people as you can are general purposes that are good to install in the hearts of each one of your children.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“You realize that Christ didn’t die for you because you had good qualities that were worth saving. He died for you because you had bad qualities that left you without a prayer.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Grace scares a lot of people because it doesn’t come with enough bullet points and three-part outlines for those who would rather not have to think too much.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“It was in God’s grace that Paul figured out how to feel secure, significant, and strong. His personal weaknesses and points of vulnerability weren’t removed, but he had the necessary grace to face them and accept them.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“As our children grow and mature in their relationship with Christ, things they need to adjust will happen far more easily when they are prompted by God’s Spirit rather than coerced by their parents.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Childhood is a time when we should move our children from a position of dependence on us to a position of independence from us and toward dependence on God.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“I’m urging you to raise your children the way God raises His. The primary word that defines how God deals with His children is grace.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Doing good things for wrong reasons consistently brings unfavorable results.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Grace doesn’t fit well with stricter models of parenting. Grace often contradicts parenting plans that want to distill roles down into checklists. Grace-based parenting is a heart-activated plan that takes its cues from a daily walk with Jesus Christ. Because of this, grace and strict parenting textbooks will never find themselves in agreement.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“and are often taunted regarding physical features like their eyes, nose, teeth, neck, knees, feet, voice, hair texture, or their complexion. Boys are criticized for liking girls; girls are criticized for liking boys. Some boys don’t care for sports. Some girls don’t like to play house. Teenagers require more sleep. Kids have always had their own way of communicating, their unique style of clothes and hair, and distinctive music. Kids go through awkward times where they don’t think they’re attractive, smart, or interesting. What is key in all of this is that a parent should communicate nothing but acceptance for the unique characteristics of their children. When they do that, a child senses the kind of acceptance that God has for us in our uniqueness. What is key in all of this is that a parent should communicate nothing but acceptance for the unique characteristics of their children.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Children feel secure when they know they are accepted as they are. Let me qualify this before we clarify it. There are attitudes our children might develop that we never have to accept. Selfishness, disrespect, deceit, and any other sinful action does not have to be condoned or tolerated. Just as in our relationship with God, He may love us when we are sinful, but He doesn’t ignore our sin. Just”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“They believe that the loved ones who have passed on are somehow looking down from heaven and watching out for them. All of that may feel nice, but there is no biblical basis for assuming it’s true.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3–4).”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Along the timeline of history, God has used people with purpose as partners in His Big Plan. As a result of being made in His likeness,2 we have a gnawing need to matter. It’s a sense of purpose that comes from being one of His created works of art. He meant these purposes to be developed and realized.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“Indulge me for a minute. This won’t take long. I want to use a scenario to set the stage for our discussion about parenting. For starters, I’ll need you to pull up a chair on one of the sides of this card table I’m looking at. You’ll notice that it is crowded with tiny pieces of an elaborate jigsaw puzzle. You can tell—just by looking at the colors and designs on the pieces—that this is going to be a bit of a challenge. Before you tear into this project, though, there are a few things you need to know about what you’re looking at: → The border pieces have all been removed. I know it’s easier to start a jigsaw puzzle by putting the edge pieces together to form a border. That gives you an early sense of accomplishment before you move on to the difficult stuff. Sorry. You’ll have to decide the boundaries of this puzzle for yourself. → Somebody threw a couple of handfuls of pieces from a different puzzle into the box. They may look like they belong to this one, but they don’t. They won’t fit no matter how hard you try. And because you don’t know which ones they are, you could waste a lot of time before you find out. Are you ready to start putting the puzzle together? I realize I’ve complicated matters for you, but you’re fairly resourceful. Given enough time and enough soothing medication, you could probably figure it out. All you need is the picture on the box cover and you can begin. Oh, I forgot to mention something: We lost the cover to the box. You’re just going to have to guess what this picture puzzle is supposed to look like. Does this sound like fun? I can’t speak for you, but I’d rather get my gums scraped. If anything, this puzzle project sounds more like a sick joke. It’s tough enough when you have all the right pieces, all the edge pieces, and the picture on the box. Take those things away, and it’s anybody’s guess what you’ll come up with. Not only that, but without a clear picture of what you are trying to put together, you’ll never really know if you even came close to what it was supposed to be.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree

“It’s a lot easier for our children to look forward to a hopeful future if they have the confidence that we are doing all we can, while they are in our care, to groom them for the future.”
― Tim Kimmel, Grace-Based Parenting: Set Your Family Tree