The Sacred Search Quotes

“Romance is built on loud and unreserved displays of affection, but such displays can be evidence of an undisciplined heart. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to limit your displays of affection by submitting to God's greater good for this person. Many couples tend to be undisciplined and hasty in declaring their affection. They rush in and blurt out their feelings before seriously even knowing the other person. And then they tend to be very self-centered, wanting the other person to respond in kind and begin meeting their romantic fantasies with equal desperation. Displays of public affection, verbal commitments that are born out of sheer emotion, false promises based on temporary emotions- these are all "useless" gifts we can be so generous with. But then we're too stingy with the costly gifts essential for the other person's well-being: we don't consider his or her welfare before we pronounce our commitment or affection; we don't consider whether our displays of affection will be healthy or cause possible confusion and later hurt. How do you truly know whether you are committed to this person and that you truly love him or her? Here's how you know: analyzing your feelings is the worst way of arriving at a measure of friendship; to count the cost is the best way. If you would rather not declare your love because you want to make sure the relationship is wise, that's counting the cost. That's love. If you would rather know whether your feelings are returned before you even know whether the relationship would honor God, that's selfishness. Analyzing your feelings is a waste of time (though that's what many singles focus on). Analyze instead the fruit of love, your willingness to sacrifice, and your commitment to the other person's welfare.”
― Gary Thomas, The Sacred Search: What if It’s Not about Who You Marry, but Why?

“Romance is build on loud and unreserved displays of affection, but such displays can be evidence of an undisciplined heart. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to limit your displays of affection by submitting to God's greater good for this person. Many couples tend to be undisciplined and hasty in declaring their affection. They rush in and blurt out their feelings before seriously even knowing the other person. And then they tend to be very self-centered, wanting the other person to respond in kind and begin meeting their romantic fantasies with equal desperation. Displays of public affection, verbal commitments that are born out of sheer emotion, false promises based on temporary emotions- these are all "useless" gifts we can be so generous with. But then we're too stingy with the costly gifts essential for the other person's well-being: we don't consider his or her welfare before we pronounce our commitment or affection; we don't consider whether our displays of affection will be healthy or cause possible confusion and later hurt. How do you truly know whether you are committed to this person and that you truly love him or her? Here's how you know: analyzing your feelings is the worst way of arriving at a measure of friendship; to count the cost is the best way. If you would rather not declare your love because you want to make sure the relationship is wise, that's counting the cost. That's love. If you would rather know whether your feelings are returned before you even know whether the relationship would honor God, that's selfishness. Analyzing your feelings is a waste of time (though that's what many singles focus on). Analyze instead the fruit of love, your willingness to sacrifice, and your commitment to the other person's welfare.”
― Gary Thomas, The Sacred Search: What if It’s Not about Who You Marry, but Why?

“The highest bond of friendship is forged in the fire of discipline, and it is true to experience to say that the greater cost of the forging, the greater will be the friendship.”
― Gary Thomas, The Sacred Search: What if It’s Not about Who You Marry, but Why?