Wide Awake and Dreaming Quotes

“I didn’t want to upset my loved ones, but I couldn’t carry this alone.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir

“I’ve heard that sometimes a version of you must die before another more enlightened version can be born. I think that’s true after watching the corpse of myself walk around.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir

“Well aren’t there other options?” Mia asked. I quickly became overwhelmed trying to explain. I didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but she was looking for quick fixes. I knew she wanted nothing more than to help, yet I felt slightly insulted by her simplistic suggestions to improve things, as if I hadn’t thought of those ideas.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“It was hard to accept that the doorbell was just a dream, because I could still hear it in my memory, like the last song on the radio or an annoying TV commercial stuck in my head. It wasn’t a faint memory of an innocuous doorbell – it was an exact “ding dong” sound, with a particular pitch, volume and rhythm.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“Runner John Bingham once said, “The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“Dad’s words, emotions, laughter, and even the pauses had been filled with love and acceptance. I knew I’d never be alone in the biggest sense of the word. Even if he died the next day, he’d always love me. He saw the very best in me, and no one could take that away from me. That was love in its purest form – someone carrying me when I reached my lowest point.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“perhaps from most people’s perspective, there were no signs of illness or struggle written across my forehead. I brought the act to law school, diligently planned and orchestrated the disguise, playing the part of the perfect young woman I wanted so badly to be. It never transformed me into healthy again, but it kept my dignity high, even when I was sweating, gagging, and terrorized by my hidden side of life. I wiped away the spit, sweat and tears in the bathroom. I fooled them all, but I was also fooling myself.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“Normally, it takes people about 60 to 90 minutes to reach REM sleep, so they wouldn’t enter this stage during a 20 minute nap. People with narcolepsy often enter REM sleep soon after falling asleep. If a person enters REM sleep in two or more of the five naps in eight minutes or less during the study, it’s highly suggestive of narcolepsy.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir

“If I wasn’t compassionate toward myself, no one else would be either. It had to start within.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“I was so sure I’d heard the doorbell and simultaneously certain that I hadn’t. How could a smart and competent 23-year-old not be able to distinguish the edges of dreams from the tips of reality? How had the picture gone so horribly blurry that I’d looked to a dog to regain my bearings?”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy

“Perhaps there are some decisions that are beyond thought, beyond logic, beyond science, and beyond health. Decisions that others can't help us make; things we must do for ourselves because if we don't, we'd only be cheating ourselves. There would always be complications and failures. I could have sat around thinking about the "what ifs" and "maybes". Or, I could've stood up, started running and watched what happened. I chose to run.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir

“My eyes burned so forcefully I could almost hear the pain, like the sizzling of a branding iron. It was hard to think. I was sure going to bed would make it stop.”
― Julie Flygare, Wide Awake and Dreaming: A Memoir of Narcolepsy