Hyperlink from Hell Quotes

“From Bertrand Russell’s “An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish”: “I am sometimes shocked by the blasphemies of those who think themselves pious — for instance, the nuns who never take a bath without wearing a bathrobe all the time. When asked why, since no man can see them, they reply: ‘Oh, but you forget the good God.’ Apparently they conceive of the Deity as a Peeping Tom, whose omniscience enables him to see through bathroom walls, but who is foiled by bathrobes.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“On our way to the back stairs, we passed by the elevator. At one time, its mechanism was faulty, and only Matilda was brave enough to use it. Gramps wanted to have it repaired, but she’d raised holy Hell about it. “It’s too late to die young,” she’d insisted, “but it’s never too late to die quick!”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“According to geneticist and evolutionary biologist, J.B.S. Haldane, theories have four stages of acceptance: 1. This is worthless nonsense; 2. This is an interesting, but perverse, point of view; 3. This is true, but quite unimportant; 4. I always said so. I can’t help thinking that Jimmie would have added: 5. It was my idea to begin with.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“fault lies not with our movie stars, but with ourselves. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to sit back and enjoy the show.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“People! What’s wrong with ‘The Smurfs’?” The boy looked up at her with the wide, innocent eyes of a “Precious Moments” figurine. “The Smurfs are dead, Mom. That’s why they’re blue.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“He some kinda terrorist. Jack Russell and toy poodle, all stirred up.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“When in doubt, do the math: The Wizard of Oz = Al Lundy = God. Why not? Everything makes sense to a dead guy in a lion suit.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“Guns? What do we need guns for?” Not that I didn’t like guns, but... Jenny managed a half-smile. “It’s isolated here. You never know what’s lurking. You might need to scare off a bear. But don’t kill anything, not even paparazzi.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“Pedro lit a cigar with my lighter, the one engraved, “Smoking will kill you someday, love, Jen.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“That’s a sweet little ass you got, Sugar.” I’d been sitting on my ass for hours; how did she know it was sweet?”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife

“Monique’s voice droned on and on, with the hypnotic quality of a medieval chant, reminding me of what a friend of my mom’s, an ex-priest, used to say about religion: “The music’s great, but the lyrics stink.”
― Lindy Moone, Hyperlink from Hell: A Couch Potato's Guide to the Afterlife