The Abstinence Teacher Quotes

“Once you'd broken through that invisible barrier that separates one person from another, you were connected forever, whether you liked it or not.”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“Because, really, what was worse than lying wide-awake in the dark, watching your life drip away, one irreplaceable minute after another?”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“I'm halfway through my life, and as far as I can tell, the real lesson of the past isn't that I made some mistakes, it's that I didn't make nearly enough of them. I doubt I'll be lying on my deathbed in forty or fifty years, congratulating myself on the fact that I never had sex in an airplane with a handsome Italian businessman, or patting myself on the back for all those years of involuntary celibacy I endured after my divorce. If recent experience is any guide, I'll probably be lying in that hospital bed with my body full of tubes, sneaking glances at the handsome young doctor, wishing that I hadn't been such a coward. Wishing I'd taken more risks, made more mistakes, and accumulated more regrets. Just wishing I'd lived when I had the chance.”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“Abstinence is perfectly reasonable in theory," Gregory said, "It just doesn't work in practice. It's like dieting. You can go a day or two, maybe even a week. But eventually that pizza just smells too good.”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“On the first day of Human Sexuality, Ruth Ramsey wore a short lime green skirt, a clingy black top, and strappy high-heeled sandals, the kind of attention-getting outfit she normally wouldn't have worn on a date---not that she was going on a lot of dates these days---let alone to work. ”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“They were good listeners, worldly yet easily shocked, hungry for details, curious and nonjudgmental at the same time, always happy to give advice, but only if it was requested.”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“Randall kept his eyes glued to the computer screen as she approached. A stranger might have mistaken him for a dedicated Information Sciences professional getting an early start on some important research, but Ruth knew that he was actually scouring eBay for vintage Hasbro action figures…”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“Sure, there were other churches, churches where the busybody Pastor wouldn’t make a house call to tell you you were going to hell, and wouldn’t cry if you disappointed him. But what would be the point of belonging to one of them?”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher: A Novel

“If you really want to know," she said, "I wrote about Donald Trump."
Tim's immediate sense of relief only lasted a second or two.
"Donald Trump? Are you kidding me?"
"He's cool," she said.
"He's not cool, Abby. Trust me on this one."
"Yah-huh," she insisted. "He's totally cool on The Apprentice."
"I can't believe Donald Trump is your hero."
"I didn't say he was my hero. I just said I admire him."
"For what?"
"Come on, Dad. Everybody admires him. He's got a skyscraper, a private jet, and his own TV show. He can do whatever he wants.”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher

“If there was one thing that rankled about being a woman, it was this conviction, drummed into your head before you had a chance to defend yourself, that it was your job - your obligation- to always look your best, even in situations when you had no logical reason to care.”
― Tom Perrotta, The Abstinence Teacher