Forever and Back Quotes

“How you exchange who you are for a different version of yourself without even knowing. Somewhere between dinners and homework and car lines, you forget yourself. And, somehow, despite how hard and thankless it all feels, when you lie in bed at night, you still worry. You still wonder, did I do good enough today? Did I love these little people enough? Encourage them to be nice people and treat others fairly? Do they know how valuable they are? How much I love them?”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Clear your head. Take a day for yourself. Buy some clothes that aren’t also from a grocery store.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“I’ve learned some love stories are just like that. They end without happily ever after”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“others can shine like stars is because people like you create a sky for us to shine in.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Thank you, for showing me that not all heroes wear capes. That the real superstars don’t always win awards and get name recognition. Some are just there, loving everyone around them and taking care of the little details that nobody else wants to. The sole reason that others can shine like stars is because people like you create a sky for us to shine in.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“cracking as I stand—once again the only one in the gym doing so. “You have spent your life teaching me how to be selfless. How to give and give and give. You give compliments and smiles. You give time.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Mom,”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“The ones who clap from the sidelines and cheer for everyone else.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“but that’s where we’re wrong. Because while some of us are focused on big dreams, perfect GPAs, and graduation speeches, the ones who aren’t are far from simple. Some heroes, I’ve learned, are the ones that sacrifice one thing—many things—to be great at something else—even if it’s not showy. Even if nobody notices. Day after day after day, they just do this thing.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Sometimes,” Lyra continues, “our heroes are standing right in plain sight. Living an ordinary life that we might mistake for simple”—”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“All that to say, sometimes the ones that we need to look to, those that know so much more than us and save us over and over again, aren’t the ones giving the speeches. They aren’t the ones at the top, receiving accolades, they are something else. Something quieter.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“I get it then, why Mave and Dustin always stand and wave at us like idiots when we drive away. Because they know how fleeting it all is. The ache that comes with every goodbye and lingers until the next hello.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Trying to commit every detail of this moment to memory. Her. Trying to commit her to memory. Lyra used to do this thing where she’d run out onto the playground, getting right to the middle where she would stop. Timid, she’d turn back, searching, almost frantically so. Waiting to see me. For me to wave at her before she’d run out of sight and play. Now, in this stuffy gymnasium, she’s a young woman, walking down a graduation aisle, head high. She knows I’m here, in the bleachers on the sidelines, but she doesn’t need to look. Doesn’t need to see me. All these years later, the tables have turned. It’s me craning my neck to see her and waiting for her wave.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Shooting the world, I’ve learned some love stories are just like that. They end without happily ever after, just after. There for a blip of time, something that happens so another thing can. A heartbreak designed for the heal.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“People tell you about potty training and sleepless nights, but they don’t tell you how fucking hard being a mom is.” Her eyebrows shoot to the sky at my language, but I don’t apologize or stop. “About the slow drain that happens if you aren’t careful. How you exchange who you are for a different version of yourself without even knowing. Somewhere between dinners and homework and car lines, you forget yourself. And, somehow, despite how hard and thankless it all feels, when you lie in bed at night, you still worry. You still wonder, did I do good enough today? Did I love these little people enough? Encourage them to be nice people and treat others fairly? Do they know how valuable they are? How much I love them?”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Even though we’re passing ships all day, we’re still in bed—together—at night.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“She trusts you,” I say. He nods. Like he knows. His eyes flick to Camp’s then back to mine. “She told me she wouldn’t be with me if she didn’t feel the same way you felt about Coach. And him about you. She trusts you too.” He pauses, hesitating, and courage fills his eyes. “And I love her.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“I love you enough to cry when you don’t come home.” He stills, not even breathing. “And I love you enough to-to-to feel like I’m going crazy when I’m not with you. And, when I imagine life without you it feels . . . terrifying. Like I have no idea how to do that. I love you enough that not telling you every thought I’m having makes me sick. Enough that I agonize daily over if I should call this whole thing off and take whatever crumbs of time you’re willing to give me.” I blow out a breath, my body vibrating with emotions—including anger. Because, damn him for doing this to me. For making me feel all this.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“I’ve blinked, spent the years wishing for days to be easier, faster . . . and now here it is. Months shy of eighteen. Months shy of leaving me. The baby I never expected—never dreamed of ever having—as necessary to my survival as oxygen.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“We aren’t making lasting changes if we cave the moment the skies start to clear. By caving, you are saying a little bit today is better than a lot forever. It’s big picture vs. little details in these situations.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Women around the bleachers dab their eyes, but I cry hardest of all. Because there, in front of everyone, my daughter sees me. All of me. All my parts and pieces. A life spent seemingly doing nothing is suddenly validated.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“The sole reason that others can shine like stars is because people like you create a sky for us to shine in.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“This time when the calls and claps break out around us, it’s not for a man, it’s for love. For all our Today’s Bests that it took to get us here. It’s for how hard it is to make it—to keep fighting when it sucks. When it’s loud. When it’s exhausting. When we keep kicking even though drowning seems so much easier.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“For a split second I regret using the line “eat drugs”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“It was a hard night, but not as bad as it felt. Not anymore with the rose-colored glasses of hindsight putting it into perspective.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Years of me bending in silence only to see that he’s been doing the same, me never knowing. Balloons flying in different directions just needing a hand to hold them together.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“I said, ‘She’s talented,’ and he agreed. Then he said, ‘I didn’t know it was so hard.’” My mouth opens but my voice doesn’t follow. “And, I’ll admit, I was confused,” she continues, “but I just stood there, waiting for him to say more. Eventually he did. He said, ‘She was lost and I never knew. Not really. Or maybe I did but didn’t want to see it. I thought I’d give her space, thought she’d come back around. I kept waiting and waiting to be invited, and now she’s done all this, and I’m not supposed to even know.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Well, he came in here, introduced himself, handed me the check, and then there was one photo he just stared at.” My eyebrows pinch. “Which one?” “It was a shot of the lake. Blurry people in the water—kids. The Lost Ones, I believe you’d titled it.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“Deep in my belly: butterflies. Not because she didn’t have sex, but because she’ll tell me. Because she doesn’t hate me. Just . . . because.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back

“And somewhere between all these little people we chase, we forget about our marriage. It gets shaved away if we aren’t mindful. If we don’t tend to it like a garden. Your dad got busy . . . and I let him. Until I was so far gone I didn’t know how to fix it.”
― Ashley Manley, Forever and Back