Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal Quotes

“I wish I was bold. I wish I was more take-charge, but at the end of the day, I’m a people pleaser, and I make decisions based on how people will see me, not what’s best for me.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“I rub my forehead. Is this what happens when two rambling idiots decide to have small talk?”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“And why didn’t you just knock on the door and introduce yourself like a normal human being? Say, Hey, I’m your next-door neighbor? Instead, you chose to part my bush with your crowbar.” He smirks a stupid smirk. “Part your bush with my crowbar, huh?”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“I might look intimidating wielding an axe at the farm, but I’m not ashamed to say I’m a cinnamon roll.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Narrator: There’s one thing for sure: I’ll never look at a chocolate-covered cherry the same.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“You’re a question mark to me. Sometimes you do the right thing; sometimes you don’t. Max: I like to keep you on your toes.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“It’s times like this when I want everyone to see that my best friend isn’t a complete grump and that he really does care about me.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“The moment Storee noticed Max had heart eyes for Betty, she threw his stupid plan—drawn-out diagram included—right out the window. She has a plan of her own, and it’s called being the Cupid Christmas matchmaker.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Or . . . he could be playing me. I don’t like to be that person, the cynic, because I like to think the glass is half-full all the time, but it’s hard not to consider the change of behavior as something strange.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Did you see that little moment of levity? He drops the Grinch act only for mentions of the girls in his life. For me? Not so much.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“If you’re looking to get into the Christmas spirit, Kringletown is the place to be,”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“You want relief?” “Yes,” I say. “Betty”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“She said she didn’t want me peeking in her pants”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Atlas”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“I’m not. Trust me”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“about going back to Fort Collins and I can just focus on the new project.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Yeah”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Sometimes it’s hard to find your voice”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“If eggnog was the liquid”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“So to sum it up”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“You’re a six-foot-four mammoth of a man wearing a ski mask and sunglasses. You’re anything but incognito at the moment.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“I might look intimidating wielding an axe at the farm”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“It’s a whole other thing to try to sell an experience”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“side. Yes, we’re that couple, sitting side by side in a booth rather than across from each other.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“So to sum it up, I have a penis, you have a vagina, and we’re aware of both things.” “I think that is correct,” I say, looking for the emergency exit to throw myself out of. Frank leans forward, joining in with a hand raised. “We have a penis and a vagina over here as well.” Dear God in heaven.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Take that”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Ahhh!” I scream out of pure reaction just as a feral warrior cry sounds through the silent night air as five words are screamed into existence by a female voice. “Take that, you filthy animal!” And then like a rocket being blasted through a cannon, a two-liter bottle of Pepsi flies right at my head, knocking me out cold.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Narrator: Spoiler alert: Max will not go undetected. In fact, this plan is about to very much blow up in his face . . .”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“I’ve had a stomachache since the moment I heard about her.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal

“Can you see it? Him skipping about, unable to control his excitement? Well, I saw it and spared you the details. Might have lost a little respect for him, especially because after she left, he skipped around and then ran into the coffee table again, causing him to go headfirst into the Christmas tree.”
― Meghan Quinn, Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animal