On Character Quotes

“As Mark Twain was supposed to have mused: “What gets us into trouble is not what we don’t know. It’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so.”
― Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“Our circumstances are often not of our making, but what we do with them is. Some endings are not really the end; they’re jut an opportunity to keep moving forward.”
― Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“Navigating this transition to irrelevance isn’t easy and takes grace. Some delay leaving the field longer than it appears they should, but judging them too quickly or too harshly can be a mistake. Absent that person’s perspective, it’s tricky to judge someone’s choices. Taking a lesser role in an organization you once shone in needn’t be demeaning. Our abilities to contribute change over a lifetime, and if we can’t do all we once did, shouldn’t we be open to doing what we can now?”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“At that point, you’re no longer a “player.” You visit practices or games, are briefly greeted, even feted, but attention quickly turns to the “men in the arena,” as it must. As it should. In different forms, this process continues throughout life. For a while, during the “ascending” phase of a person’s life, your departure is for bigger and better things, so the ache of no longer belonging to that team is overcome by the self-importance of “moving up.” But at a certain point, the journey peaks—earlier for some than for others, but there comes a point for us all—and we become the former, the something emeritus, or one of any number of other euphemisms for “once but no longer relevant.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“The lesson is that gardens don’t grow without committed effort, and communities are nothing more than recalcitrant gardens. In short, you harvest what you plant, water, feed, and protect. To invest in a community is a choice—a good one.”
― Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“I’m pretty sure I will die. I joke with friends that humanity is due for an exception to the trend, but I accept that I’m unlikely to be that exception—so I’ll die. In all probability, you will, too.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“In his 1944 Memorial Lecture titled “The Inner Ring,” delivered to King’s College London, British writer and moralist C. S. Lewis warned of the dangers that came with seeking acceptance into exclusive groups. Desire for entry, or “the passion for the Inner Ring,” he argued, “is the most skillful in making a man who is not yet a very bad man do very bad things.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“Where it gets most difficult is when the individual has chosen positions or behaviors that don’t reflect judgment or deeply held beliefs but instead seem to be cravenly opportunistic—and we see it often. Politicians jump to mind, and some I’ve known epitomize the phenomenon of abandoning long-held values to curry favor. It would be amusing if not so pathetic. I try to retain respect for the people I once thought them to be but treat them as who they’ve chosen to be.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“As vital as we know trust to be, we’re often confused about what it actually is. My experience has shown me that this is a concept frequently bandied about but not often understood. When I trust someone to do something they’ve committed to, I am putting my faith in their intent and competence. Like most people, I value good intentions but bank on those who have shown they can deliver. This is where friendship and trust diverge. There are people I love but don’t trust. Conversely, there are some I despise whom I have trusted and would trust for very important things, even with the lives of my family members. That feels contradictory, but remembering what trust implies is essential. It has nothing to do with affection or admiration. If I cross a bridge, I don’t care if the engineer is a wonderful human being. I’m looking for competence and execution. Trust, you could say, is the intersection of faith and responsibility. When I put my faith in you and you hold yourself responsible, we have established trust. And until you give me reason to doubt you, I won’t.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“I’ve never agreed with the idea that our personal and professional lives are separate and distinct. We’re one person with one life, and how we integrate and balance those pieces impacts our success in each area. I know that when my relationships, particularly my marriage, are healthy, I’m better both professionally and personally. So, my marriage is central to every part of my life.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“Some endeavors warrant obsessive focus.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“Similarly, the best professionals I’ve known have chosen the life they live and understand that there’s no harm in “embracing the suck,” wrapping even the most difficult situations in the appearance of an enjoyable experience. And if the psychological reaction of forcing yourself to feign love for something you don’t enjoy brings you to like it, that’s helpful, too.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“At the time, I felt like I was the first and only person to have gone through such a traumatic redirection, but the reality was less dramatic. Most of us experience some version of a “train wreck” at some point. While we’d love to avoid these catastrophes, disaster invariably comes for us all in unique and surprising ways, and we are left to learn to deal with the fallout. Fortunately, I did learn how to deal with it, thanks to my wife, and I’d like to offer some things I believe worked.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life

“Reading, as well as writing, help us understand our place in the world and the stories we get to participate in and even tell.”
― General Stanley McChrystal, On Character: Choices That Define a Life