Sentient Claus Quotes

“Santa Cuck is in town, but he isn’t the one who’s coming tonight.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“Since you want to act like a little twat online, then you can be treated like one. Pussies need panties, so enjoy choking on mine, Pussy Claus.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“I read smut.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“If he knew about her stash of steamy romances, would he talk to her in that way? Mrs. Claus has a sinking feeling that the answer is yes, he’d judge her just the same.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“Are you sure it’s about what’s right and wrong? Or could you be targeting a genre that’s historically loved by women, and disrespecting them over whatever discomfort you feel about sensuality?”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“You know as well as I do that being Naughty Listed is an extreme punishment, Santa. It’s treason to the season, and I won’t be an accomplice to your hatred.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“Santa,” he begins, choosing his words carefully, “I understand you think what I did was reckless, and I know you don’t agree with my choices. But punishing people for reading? For enjoying stories that bring them comfort or make them feel alive? That goes against what I stand for.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“It’s not like people are publishing stories with giant peens plastered on the front, afterall.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“All I Want For Christmas is Sex Suck My Mistletoes Wrap It Up For My Box”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“When I earnestly ask, ‘What happened to good books?’ and ‘Who’s letting this shit get published?’, these people get so defensive. My notifications pop off with some crap about patriarchy and misogyny, or calling me a troll. Which is ridiculous because I’m clearly part elf, not a troll.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“I’ve got these anonymous social media accounts where I comment on naughty posts. Lately, I’ve been targeting these bookish influencers and authors, calling out what they’re really reading—porn for lonely losers.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, now… Oh, fuck it. Let’s ride, ladies!”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus

“Erotica, Sylas. That’s my fucking problem. Salacious smut is the latest craze, and it’s affecting the numbers on The Lists.” Santa’s eyes darken as he looks over the horizon. “There won’t be as many stops this year, and it’s all because readers today prefer to dive into a book about ho ho ho’s rather than enjoy a good, old-fashioned novel.”
― Holly Wilde, Sentient Claus