Class Clown Quotes

“There’s one more wisdom nugget I’d like to add, something that seems truer to me the older I get: It’s gonna be OK.”
― Dave Barry, Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up

“You should not confuse your career with your life. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. Your friends love you anyway. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.”
― Dave Barry, Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up

“In the end, your professional achievements don’t matter. In the end, all that really matters—all you really have—is the people you love. Not your job, not your career, not your awards, not your money, not your stuff. Just your people.”
― Dave Barry, Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up

“Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about thirty-two gallons.)46 Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes—and here I am being kind—like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, “a loose watery bowel movement may result.” This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.”
― Dave Barry, Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up

“In the end, your professional achievements don’t matter. In the end, all that really matters—all you really have—is the people you love. Not your job, not your career, not your awards, not your money, not your stuff.”
― Dave Barry, Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up

“So that was one part of my job: writing a weekly column on anything I wanted. The other part involved traveling to Miami, usually for a week or two at a time, to write cover stories, like the Orlando-Miami basketball feud story. These were longer and somewhat more coherent than my columns, but still deeply unserious. Often the topics were suggested by Gene or Tom, who enjoyed pointing me at a target, like a tactical assault clown, and printing whatever I wrote about it.”
― Dave Barry, Class Clown: The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass—How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up