Off Menu Quotes

“We went for a walk on College Street and popped into Coco's for a snack. There, I revealed my future, much like the exquisitely layered flavors of our slice of earl grey, plum and lavender buttercream cake.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“By the time Dean returned from the washroom I was furious. And then came the food. Dean's Zucchini Alfredo tasted of absolutely nothing, though he claimed he loved it, which made me more livid.
"You're lying!" I said, while choking down a taste of it. "There is absolutely no seasoning to it whatsoever. No salt, no pepper, no garlic, no fresh herbs, and it's swimming in water!"
"I like its subtle flare," he said as he continued happily slurping, not noticing that he was splashing me with "zoodles" water as he ate.
"That's right. Keep eating," I taunted. "You'll want to finish it while it's still tepid." And then Dean squeezed my knee, which is either his way of being affectionate or him telling me to shut up. I haven't figured out that odd little habit yet. I sat back and tried to relax sulk, while contemplating where the closest place to grab a quick slice of pizza may be.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“I've been to great vegan restaurants. Ones where instead of being served simply steamed, the beets were roasted and chopped into a tartare with shiso and toasted hazelnuts and served with fried gnocco dough, crisp, puffed and golden, like a clever tartare. Vegan restaurants where the waterier vegetables like zucchini and yellow squash are treated with even more care: chunks of grilled zucchini surrounded by a vibrant yellow squash purée with chili crunch, lime, and fresh mint, served with fresh-from-the-oven vegan barley bread for ripping and dipping. I've also had amazing vegan desserts. Once, in class, Claire made a chocolate cake layered with a creamy tofu mousse, rhubarb gelée, strawberry sauce, and fudge crunch, using no gross heavy olive oils or coconut cream. It was magnificent!”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“Chef Simone is clearly inspired by classical French cooking but she's totally making it her own. SHE'S so cool.
For instance, her "half-cooked" potatoes are shredded, poached in oil, drained, and tossed with a lip-smacking homemade XO sauce, and then topped with a perfect piece of steamed turbot. It's not your traditional, beautifully plated French meal, but I swear it has raw sex appeal and it's so good.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“I hope the chicken is as yummy as him," said Trish as soon as he had headed back to the kitchen.
"I can't wait to taste his creamy sauce," I added.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“We also went back to les Halles Bocuse because we simply cannot get enough of the place, and because we wanted to try the pink praline tart. I can't remember Chef Antoine talking about the pink pralines of Lyon, but shame on him, because they're a really big deal here. At first, we were put off by the garish pink color of the candied almonds, but the more we walked around, the more we realized that pink pralines were a specialty of Lyon--- all the patisseries looked like French Baker Barbie had set up shop.
"This is the best thing I've ever tasted," said Trish as she bit into a tender sable base with a pink praline caramel on top.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“Pain needs an outlet and tears help us heal.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“I spotted a duo of pouchy handmade raviolis: spinach and ricotta with fresh tomato sauce, and porcini in sage butter. Their fish dish was salmon with a skin so crispy it looked like crackling and their handmade pappardelle was tossed with braised rabbit. They went even more rustic with their desserts, albeit with elevated flavor combinations, like an orange flower torte with pine nuts, and a honey semifreddo with apricot lime sauce.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“It started with a bashed-up baguette and the promise of dessert.

Test One
"Okay, what have you got?" Jeff asked.
"What have I got? You're the genius who said we could make a competition worthy dessert out of a floor baguette," I said.
"I'm the big ideas guy. You're the flavor guru." (He's not wrong.)
We decided on a maple bread pudding, inspired by Chef Luc Roy in Montreal.
After a bit of fiddling with measurements and deciding on doneness, about an hour and ten minutes later it was ready and smelling like heaven but too sweet, too loose, and too close to a classic pouding chômeur.

Test Two
We decreased the milk, added another egg, and removed the maple syrup. But we still needed a core flavor. Hmm, core...
"What about apple?" I suggested.

Test Three
We added some sautéed Golden Delicious, and it was good but still missing something. "Maybe a little crunch?" pondered Jeff. "Walnuts?"
"Yes," I said with a high five. "But pecans."
We were jiving like peanut butter and jam.
Fifty-seven minutes later we had another golden-brown bread pudding on our hands. It was moist but still had texture, and the flavor was definitely there. Yet it still wasn't competition-worthy.

Test Four
"I have an idea. Can you get me a small saucepan and a whisk, please?"
Jeff fetched the pan while I collected butter, sugar, cream, and Calvados, then whisked together a spiked butter sauce over the heat. I poured most of it over the still-warmed bread pudding, so it absorbed the luscious sauce like rain on Kentucky bluegrass.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“For our final meal we decided on a blow-out dinner at the rustic and chic le Boeuf et le Cochon, where Quebecois chef Luc Roy brings fancy French peasant food to the Montreal masses by making it both comforting and extremely decadent. Like foie gras poutine with squeaky curds from his own dairy farm and seared duck breast with foraged chanterelles, all set amidst a simple room of rough-hewn beams and exposed brick.
After much deliberation, here's what we ended up ordering:
•seafood tower featuring crab legs, oysters, clams, shrimp, mussels, snails, and conch--- much of it culled from the nearby St. Lawrence River (The furry conch shell was a tad challenging.)
•foie gras poutine (The consensus was "disturbingly delicious".)
•two-pound lobster stuffed with fall vegetables and doused in Béarnaise (Lilly's favorite" "Can you make this for me on my birthday?" she asked between mouthfuls. I'll have to remember. It'll be a nice surprise.)
•hanger steak with a sidecar of mushroom Bordelaise (Trish's favorite. She's super into protein these days.)
•lamb shank with green lentils ("Unappealing color combo" was the verdict.)
•pouding chômeur (Warm, mapley heaven! New favorite dessert alert!)”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“Chef explained some of the fresh products they'd use in their prized regional dishes, which we'd soon be cooking too: the smooth Niçoise olives and the lovely fruity oil; bouquets of zucchini flowers, born to become fritters; fresh almonds; more cheeses than there are days in the year; eggs with yolks the color of the Côte d'Azur sun; and, of course, the butteriest of butters. He said there is a seasonality and simplicity at work, which is why French recipes don't change: "A classic is always timely."
To think, I went from Bubbe's chicken schmaltz to Mom's low-cal Pam spray, and now this man with a frying pan for a face and a banana for a nose is suddenly telling me it's all about the butter.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“Last night, I read we'd be making béchamel and Mornay sauces, poulet poché sauce suprême and hollandaise. There would be rich potages of crème de moules au safran, bisque d'etrilles and homard, soupe à l'oignon gratinée, and then a whole lot of les oeufs: oeufs durs mimosa, ouefs mollets à la Florentine, ouefs cocotte à la crème, and ouefs frits au bacon. Oof!
Leçon 16 would feature compound butters and nothing but. Followed by la leçon on braising (lamb stew, braised crown roast of pork nivernaise, beef à la mode), which begets frying and sautéing (beignets de gambas, sole meunière), which begets a whole section on "au gratin." Even the salads are full of lardons and heavy cream. And the desserts! Apple Charlotte with custard, crème brûlée, crème caramel, and sabayon.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu

“We also ate most of our meals together, and our different likes and dislikes had somehow morphed into the perfect Thai smorgasbord for four: Trish and Dean liked the nut tofu (a waste of space involving bland firm tofu stir-fried with triple-colored bell peppers, tomato, onion, and a scant handful of cashews), while Ian and I were crazy for the tamarind shrimp (a sumptuous melding of tiger shrimp, ginger, garlic, chili, and green onion tossed in a tangy tamarind sauce and topped with crispy fried shallots). Dean and I enjoyed the spicy eggplant (the heaps of fresh Thai basil totally made it), while Trish and Ian usually went for the curry beef. (I'm not a fan.) We all shared in the perfectly balanced salty, sweet, spicy, and sour green mango salad and deep-fried honey bananas for dessert when we were stoned.”
― Amy Rosen, Off Menu