Open When... Quotes

“The best comparison you can make is with yourself. Ask yourself if you have made today that tiny bit better than yesterday.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Most of what you will learn in life comes from action rather than thinking. Holding that idea front and center makes action so much more inviting, even when it is terrifying. Being stuck in your own head, ruminating on whether you can or should do the thing that you suspect could be best for you, is akin to standing still and staring at the space between you and what you want. Taking a step forward is the only way you get physically closer to it. The result is less important than the act itself because action leads to more action, which generates momentum.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Try this: Take all the problems you are facing right now and imagine that it’s not you who is facing them at all. Imagine the person in your life you would least want to have these problems. What would it feel like to know they were facing all this? If this person you care about deeply was facing this, what help would you want to give? Knowing what you know about the situation, what help would you see as most pivotal? But now, imagine that you cannot help them in this way because, well, you don’t know what they are dealing with. They decided to struggle alone and not ask for help. They know that asking for help could lead to better days ahead, but they see all the same barriers that you see. Notice how the idea of that scenario feels substantially more painful, knowing how eager you would be to help, if only they would let you in. Notice how you judge the situation, whether you think any less of the person for the context they find themselves in, or whether you simply see another human being who could do with a helping hand. Picture that loved one and ask yourself: Do you see them as worthy of help?”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“A feeling does not make a fact Any time that your mood is low, you might notice the tendency to feel things strongly and then be led by those feelings as if they were fact. This emotional reasoning can prove a real trap when you know that you could benefit from help. Low mood gives rise to feelings of fear, isolation, inadequacy, and unworthiness. We then assume that I feel it, therefore it must be true. So you might start to believe that you are alone and that you do not deserve help. But those thoughts were not the best reflection of reality. They were a reflection of your mood and emotional state.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Egocentric thinking is another bias to spot in arguments. This is when we see our own perspective as fact and neglect the reality that others have different values, ideals, and perspectives. This leads us to apply all the rules that we live by to them, often without telling them. If I have rules about and give meaning to taking my shoes off when I enter someone’s home, then the moment a friend strolls into my kitchen with their boots on I might feel offended, neglecting the fact that my friend does not hold the same views and had no concept of mine on the subject.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Confirmation bias is something to look out for in arguments where logic seems to have gone out the window. This is our normal human tendency to interpret information in a way that reconfirms our preexisting beliefs. No argument is ever purely about the here and now.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“You must break routines, try new things, put yourself in situations to discover how you emerge, make connections, or return to things that were once a part of your life merely because you enjoyed them. You don’t become the person you want to be by just thinking about it. You do it by living it.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Try this: Place your palm over your chest and hold it there for a moment. Allow your breathing to slow, back to its natural rhythm. And feel the warmth of your hand radiate on your chest. Allow everything to slow. Then say these words to yourself, either out loud or in the quiet of your own mind: This is tough. I am trying my best with what I have right now. It feels so painful when I get it wrong because I care so deeply. It is love that enables me to steer back in the direction I want to go after I fall.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Let’s imagine that you spent a day going about your various tasks and interactions with the firm belief that your own preferences, values, and principles were valid in equal measure to everyone else’s. For the whole day you committed to not trampling on your own needs. What would that look like? In real, concrete terms, what would you do differently? Where would the word no appear that it hasn’t so far? Where would you need the most courage? What would you stand to lose and what would you stand to gain? Now, imagine you did that successfully every day. After one year, how might life look different for you?”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“Next, take a look at the comparison between where you are now and where you want to be tomorrow, next month, and next year.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...

“You might say my previous book was the hammer and nails. This book is my hand reaching out to yours in the chaos of the storm, saying “Come this way and let’s get to work.”
― Julie Smith, Open When...