Why Do Men Have Nipples? Quotes

“...Someone can intentionally fake blindness for some secondary gain (malingering)--a prisoner who says he can't see in order to try to avoid going directly to jail. It is not difficult to figure out when patients say they are blind but can actually see. We have a simple test that lets us determine whether the eyes are functioning. Using a rotating striped drum, we test for something called optokinetic nystagmus. as the drum spins, normal eyes will be seen moving back and forth.

If a striped rotating drum is not available, you can always use a picture of J. Lo's rear. Move it back and forth, and any normal eyes will follow.”
― Mark Leyner, Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

“studies have failed to find any
substantial evidence proving a relationship between sugar consumption and hyperactivity.”
― Mark Leyner, Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

“Mütter Museum”
― Mark Leyner, Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

“and the inexplicable prevalence of supernumerary testicles in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania.”
― Mark Leyner, Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

“DOES SUGAR REALLY MAKE KIDS HYPERACTIVE? Parents are always looking for an excuse to explain their children’s bad behavior, and sugar has taken a lot of blame. This may come as no surprise, but the Coca-Cola Company doesn’t want to take responsibility, and makes it very clear that studies have failed to find any substantial evidence proving a relationship between sugar consumption and hyperactivity. Well, the company is correct. Sugar does feed the body as an energy source, but it doesn’t make kids hyperactive. It is more likely that kids tend to eat sugary foods at times when they would be excited and rambunctious anyway (parties, holidays, movies, weddings, funerals). This can only be good news for the producers of such fine healthy treats as Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries, Pixy Stix, cotton candy, and Laffy Taffy.”
― Mark Leyner, Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

“Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks. The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odor while 100 percent of French people tested did. Insert your favorite French joke here:________________________________.”
― Mark Leyner, Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini