Boomsday Quotes

“Speechwriters are fundamentally Calvinist: They become nervous if their principals exhibit free will and depart from the prepared text.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“Ronald Reagan used to say that the nine scariest words in the English language were ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“It’s the fate of many propositions,” Terry said, “to begin as heresies and end as truths. I read that somewhere, anyway.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“Oderint dum metuant.” “You’re going to have to translate that for me. I didn’t go to Gratin.” “It’s Groton. Means ‘Let them hate, so long as they fear.’ Cato.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“You do this pronoun shift. You may not even be aware of it. If it’s a ‘bold idea,’ it’s ‘ours.’ If it’s a ‘nutty idea,’ it’s ‘yours.’” “Grammar Nazi. Would it be enough to say I want to be president to . . .” “I’m listening.” Randy said, “I was about to say, ‘To give something back,’ but it sounds so pathetic. What it really boils down to is, I’d like to be in charge for just five minutes. Balance the books. Get us out of debt. Be nice to our friends, tell our enemies to fuck off. Clean up the air and water. Throw corporate crooks in the clink. Put the dignity back in government. Fix things. What else . . .? Can’t have Arabs blowing up our buildings, certainly, but I now know that we don’t need to be sending armies everywhere. Among other things, it’s expensive. . ..” “I’m sorry, were you talking? I went to sleep after ‘balance the books.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“What a country, America. A lunatic asylum, without enough attendants or tranquilizers.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“But why would I give my watch, my precious watch and fob, to a—Russian who-re?” “Two Russian who-res. Perhaps to avoid being beaten to death by two very large Russian pimps.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“No one likes lawyers until you need one, at which point they assume the raiment of knights.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“So we’ve gone from ‘Don’t trust anyone over thirty’ to ‘Don’t drink any Scotch under thirty’? Is this what’s become of your revolution?”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“Come on, Terry. Forgotten what it’s like to be young and angry?” Terry shrugged. “I’m middle-aged and angry. With good Scotch, I can deal with the anger.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“Give me smart, young, and angry and I’ll move the world.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“The corporal was not having sex with the congressman in a minefield.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“The corporal also reads glossy magazines,” Cass said. “When not composing Shakespearean-quality media advisories pertaining to our mission here. Sir.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday

“The corporal’s morale is excellent verging on sublime, sir.”
― Christopher Buckley, Boomsday