Count On You Quotes

“No, you aren’t. It’s not my fault God gives the best dick to the dumbest fools.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I said all of that to say, I’m praying for you. Sometimes people get so caught up in what being a Christian is supposed to look like on the outside, they forget that it’s a heart thing. It’s not about the way you dress or how properly you speak. The devil was one of God’s greatest angels, so anyone can play the role if they look the part. You need to focus your attention on your heart because it’s nasty, selfish, and judgmental, which I’m sure you know are not one of the fruits of the spirit they were talking about in Galatians.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Does she need some water? I think she may have been so focused on my straw that she forgot to open her own. It probably would have come in handy.” My girl. Thank God the waiter came over with our food because I needed something to distract me.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Okay, daddy daycare. Shit, I don’t even want that kind of pussy in my life because I’ll fuck around and put an air tag in her panties just to make sure she ain’t taking my shit nowhere it’s not supposed to be.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Normi girl, you gon’ fuck around and get us arrested for indecent exposure. I’ll have yo’ ass on your knees in the sand, digging in yo’ shit.” “Don’t tempt me. I might be willing to take a charge behind that dick.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“No, I want to ride your dick in the tub. I promise I won’t make a mess.” I placed my hand over the tent in my shorts. We were still out in public.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Daddy sorry, babies. Your mama has that wet ass gorilla grip pussy, and I’m just a man.” Normandee snorted with her hand covering her mouth. She popped me with the other hand.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I know damn well y’all nasty asses weren’t fucking on these people’s good chairs. I tried to come out here to enjoy the view that I paid for only to see sis riding yo’ ass like muthafuckin Seabiscuit. If all y’all wanted to do was fuck, you could have left me at the crib.” Murk huffed as he lit his cigar.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“My mother had the nerve to text me and ask how I felt about having a criminal for a baby daddy. I told her I loved my gangsta bae. She didn’t seem happy about that.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“You don’t know me, and that’s okay, but don’t let that fool you into believing that I’m some weak-ass scrub you can try to bully by throwing your money and weight around. My money is longer than this dick your daughter likes to ride on.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I’ma cut them shits off if you think you’re gonna keep using them to get over on me,” I threatened while kicking my shoes off so I could climb into this small ass bed with my girls. “How am I supposed to suck your dick with no lips?” The serious expression on her face sent me over the edge, and I couldn’t hold my laughter.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I always wanted to know what it would be like to have wealthy parents, but yours make me grateful for my mama being a struggling ho.” The water I was sipping went down the wrong pipe when she said that. I coughed so hard I peed on myself.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Your son has something going on with him that he isn’t telling me. He has about two more minutes to tell me what’s going on before I go get my blade. Someone did something to my baby, and I want to know who.” My father’s eyebrows dipped as he took a moment to observe me. Just like she didn’t play about me, he didn’t play about either of us.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Can I have some?” Her eyes were low as she nodded her head. She lifted her fingers to my face before sliding them into my mouth. I licked in between her digits, not wanting to miss a single drop of her sweet cream. Once I made sure that I’d gotten it all, I still wanted more.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Don’t play with my shit. Either spit on it or sit on it, love. My dick is too big for you to be playing with.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I knew you were slow, but I didn’t realize you were a short bus warrior. You will never have to opportunity to sniff the essence of my punani, love. I don’t fuck wild animals. Too many fleas.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Bit—” “Don’t even try me because I have Big Bertha in my purse, and I’ll pistol whip your ass right here in this restaurant for thinking you can play with me like that. I’m not one of your little street walkers that you can boss around or talk to any kind of way. Now, I’d advise you to leave me the hell alone because I have a degree in eating niggas for breakfast, and your bony ass would be light work for me.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I didn’t speak because you weren’t a priority for me. And you’re right; that shirt is bright as hell. You look like a bloody tampon with fangs. Ol’ vampires in the ghetto looking ass.” She roasted him, talking about the gold fangs he sported today.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“You’ve got to stop thinking that you’re a burden to people. I can’t speak for everyone, but you will never be a burden to me. Your pain is mine, and I mean that. We are sisters, and I don’t care what you need from me; I’m available to you. If you’re scared, allow me to be here to reassure you that it’s all going to be all right. God didn’t bring you this far to leave you doubting yourself.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“And am! Now, tell me what’s going on? You aren’t dying are you? I’ll have no other choice but to jump in the casket with you ’cause I’m not staying on this ghetto planet without you.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I see you like to play games. You’ve got the right one, baby. I’ll see you soon.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“My next man needs to be infatuated with me. I mean, borderline obsessed with everything that comes with me, flaws and all.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“I want to be with a man who loves me so deeply that he would never do anything to disrespect me because hurting me is like hurting himself. I want a man who will go to bat for me and remind me of how strong I am because sometimes I forget.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Have you ever been in love? And I’m not talking about the situation with your ex, because you weren’t in love with her. I mean real, infallible love. The kind of love that makes you want to be better. The love that has you doing things that are outside of your normal. The kind that you’ll kill for. The love that will make you want to shut the world out and only focus on the person. You see, after my breakup with Marquise, I came to the realization that I’ve never been loved, and I’ve never truly been in love.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Big Sandals needs to send us a new batch of men because these ones have too much ho in them and not enough money.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“When at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and fuck his friend. Or whatever Aaliyah said.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Well, tough shit, toots. Love is a gamble. You’ll never be able to predict whether you have a bad hand or a good one until you start playing. You’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for, and even if this doesn’t turn out the way you want it, you’re still gonna come out on top.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“The next man who even breathed in her direction might want to make sure his soul was right with our Lord and Savior because they would be getting a first-class ticket to Sky Daddy.”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“Fuck. This shit ain’t got any business being this good. And you had the nerve to try to keep this good pussy from me. Shit!”
― Kami Holt, Count On You

“How does it feel to be fucked and dipped on like a two-dollar ho?”
― Kami Holt, Count On You