The Situationship Quotes

“He deserved to be the best friend. He wasn’t a technicality.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“What did he look like?” she asked. “Like if Rhysand from the ACOTAR series were a real person,”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“Going with Doug to see a dick rock. If I disappear, I’m burying a body and I’ll be home by dinner.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“Emma: Daniel said he just got a text from Doug saying he’s taking you to Dick Rock and if he goes missing it was you who killed him ???”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“Your house is clean,” I said. “I don’t like how I feel when it’s not clean. It messes with me.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“You will not murder me. I will murder you,” I said. “And I’ll cover you in honey so the pig eats your body and they’ll never find you.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“He was kind to animals. Hardworking and funny. Maybe a little much at first, but I think that was a shield.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“You know, you’re kinda scary.” “Thanks,” I muttered.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“you will see it on my face. That’s just how my face works.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“Women should snoop. Snooping saves lives.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“Someone had drawn chalk dicks on the bike path. Every hundred feet or so—dick. They’d carved them into the bark of the trees too. It was a penis scavenger hunt and I was here for it. It was the most fun I’d had in weeks.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“This place felt like the blueprint for Main Street at Disneyland. Caramel apples in the window of the fudge shop and mums in the hanging baskets off the light posts.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“It’s a goat and Gouda grilled cheese with raspberry jam and honey.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“I never liked putting off till tomorrow the things I could be doing today.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“My toxic trait is thinking I could change him,” she said.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“He cleared his throat, made very intense, totally unnecessary eye contact with me, and started singing “More Than Words” by Extreme. My absolute favorite song of all time. I could not believe what I was hearing.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship

“Women should snoop. Snooping saves lives. Lets you know if you’re in the house of a serial killer or a married man or a guy with a closet full of Sharpies to draw dicks on trails.”
― Abby Jimenez, The Situationship