The Let Them Theory Quotes

“My point is simple: Adults will have negative opinions about you and everything you do. Let Them judge. Let Them react. Let Them doubt you. Let Them question the decisions you are making. Let Them be wrong about you. Let Them roll their eyes when you start posting videos online or you want to rewrite the manuscript for the 12th time. Instead of wasting your time worrying about them, start living your life in a way that makes you proud of yourself. Let Me do what I want to do with my one wild and precious life.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, Let Them. If the person that you’re really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, Let Them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, Let Them. So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations. And the truth is, if somebody else—a person you’re dating, a business partner, a family member—if they’re not showing up how you need them to show up, do not try to force them to change. Let Them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just Let Them and then you get to choose what you do next.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Focusing on what you can’t control makes you stressed. Focusing on what you can control makes you powerful.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“That’s one of my biggest takeaways from using the Let Them Theory: You will never be able to control what is happening around you. You will also never be able to control your emotional responses, because they are automatic—just like how your stress response turns on automatically. But you can always choose what you think, say, or do in response to other people, the world around you, or the emotions that are rising up inside of you. That’s the source of all your power.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Dr. K says that in order to make a change, a person must be able to separate themselves from the pain they will feel in the moment and the action that they need to take.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“fact: People’s behavior tells you exactly how they feel about you. Your job isn’t to interpret it or second-guess it. Your job is to let people reveal who they are and how they truly feel about you and accept it.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Acceptance of another person, as they are, is the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. When someone feels that you accept them as they are, they feel safe with you. The opposite happens when you pressure, change, criticize, push, or expect someone to behave differently than they are. This pressure puts you and your loved one in a battle for control,”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“action is the answer. Thinking about your problems will never solve them. Waiting around to feel like doing something means you’ll never do it. It taught me that no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself from yourself. You have to force yourself to make little moves forward, all day, every day, especially when you don’t feel like it.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“And if you understand that emotions are a normal part of life, and that adults are allowed to feel the ups and downs and can survive it, you would be more courageous. It’s not your job to protect everybody else from feeling emotions. Your job and responsibility is to live your life in a way that is aligned with your values, and in a way that gets you. Sometimes that’s going to hurt someone. It’s going to disappoint them. It’s going to cause pain or heartbreak knowing that your decision will hurt someone else—and it’s going to be one of the hardest things you’re going to do in life. When I know my actions may disappoint or upset someone, I find it helpful to remember Dr. Damour’s framing that negative emotions are a mentally healthy response to life’s upsets. People are allowed to be upset when you change your mind, and disappointed or heartbroken when you break up. People are allowed to be depressed when they lose their job. So how do you do this, and how do you manage the excruciating level of guilt and discomfort YOU are going to feel when you make a hard decision that you know is the right decision for you?”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“The relationship is largely happening as a fantasy in your own mind, because you live in the potential of what could be, not in the reality of what is.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Let Them show you who they are. Their disrespect doesn’t say anything about you. How you respond does. Stop asking why they are doing this. The question is, why do you want to be with someone who does this to you? You don’t. Don’t waste your energy chasing someone who’s already left. Focus on what you can control: Processing your emotions and reminding yourself that you deserve someone who treats you with respect.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Pressure doesn’t create change—it creates resistance to it. When you try to exert control over someone else’s behavior, they instinctively resist your attempt to try to control them.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“People avoid healing because they do not believe they can face the pain they are running from. So Let Them borrow their belief from you. Because when someone feels accepted, loved, and supported, it’s easier for them to believe in their ability to step back into life too.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“People only heal when they are ready to do it for themselves. These are deeply personal, difficult battles. . . and they can only be fought by that person when they’re ready to fight. You cannot make them fight. You cannot make them get sober. You cannot make someone financially responsible. You cannot make them heal.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“The reason to make a herculean effort, or to show up both at your friend’s birthday party and to see your grandparents, is that it makes YOU proud of yourself. Don’t go to your friend’s birthday so they think you are a good friend. Go to your friend’s birthday because it makes YOU feel like a good friend. Don’t go home to see your grandparents because it makes your mother happy. Go home to see your grandparents because it makes YOU happy to prioritize your grandparents and family.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“When you’re an adult, your life, happiness, health, healing, social life, friendships, boundaries, needs, and success are all your responsibility. If you’ve been secretly hoping someone else would come and rescue you, fix your problems, pay your bills, create a social life, heal your wounds, change into your dream partner, and motivate you to be your best. . . it’s not going to happen. No one is coming. And any time you spend blaming other people, or waiting for permission or an invitation, is wasted. Those days are over. It’s time to take full responsibility for your happiness, your dreams, and your life. After all, responsibility is simply the ability to respond. And as you’ve just learned, true power lies in your response.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Trying to control people and situations doesn’t calm your fears. It amplifies them. Any psychologist will tell you, the more you try to control something you can’t, the more anxious and stressed out you become.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“First, it’s never your job to manage another adult’s emotions. When someone pulls the silent treatment on you, or plays the victim, or erupts in frustration, Let Them. And then I want you to visualize an eight-year-old trapped inside their body. When you do that, something wild happens. You don’t feel scared of this person. You actually pity them. You feel compassion instead of contempt.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“You don’t need anyone else’s permission to be happy, to pursue your passions, express yourself more, or to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. The only permission you need is your own.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Loving people means that you have to meet them where they are. You must learn how to let adults be adults. This is why the Let Them Theory is so effective. When you Let Them be, you’re accepting them for who they are right now. Let Them be on their own timeline.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Never feel bad about asking for what you deserve. Never hint about something as important as a commitment. Being able to have honest conversations is the foundation of a loving and healthy relationship. So don’t fear this, embrace it. If the relationship is meant to be, this conversation will make it stronger. A real conversation only destroys something that is fake.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“The Let Them Theory is not about superiority at all. It’s about balance. It’s about making room for both you and someone else. It’s about giving other people the space and the grace to live their lives—and then giving yourself the same.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“The more you use the Let Them Theory, the more you’ll realize that, underneath this fear, your soul has been nudging you all along in the direction that is meant for you.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“According to research, work is the #1 cause of life stress for most people—and your manager has as much impact on your mental health as your spouse.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“If you’re single, your love story is far from over. The love of your life is not in your past. They are waiting for you in the future, and everything that has happened and every relationship you’ve been in has prepared you for what is about to happen next.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“That’s why the theory only works if you say both parts. When you say Let Them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people’s behavior to bother you. When you say Let Me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“At some point, you’re going to realize that your parents aren’t going to be here forever, and that this was their first time as a human being too.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Every time you edit what you post, or stay silent in class or at work, or hide in the back of the group photo, you are engaging in self-rejection. You’re the one telling yourself that you’re not good enough.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Let Them. Let your parents be less than what you deserve. Let your family life be something that isn't a fairy tale. They are doing the best they can with the resources and life experiences they have. Now you get to choose what happens moving forward.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About

“Emotions are also contagious. Seeing someone else sad, afraid, disgusted, or angry can cause you to experience these same emotions in your own body. This explains why someone else’s tone of voice, their shift in energy, their bad mood, and their body language can immediately trigger you to feel on edge. And one more thing to understand is that whenever you or another person are hungry, or tired, or stressed-out, or under the influence, or lonely, or angry, or hurt, you’ll be even more emotional. I say this because whenever I do or say something I later regret, there is usually stress, alcohol, or hunger involved. Knowing all this helps me to make the changes to better manage my emotions and helps me stay in control of what I say, do, and think.”
― Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About