Unmasking for Life Quotes

“Do not be ashamed of how messy your feelings can be-- Danny Lavery says he fantasized about beating his relatives with baseball bats every night for a year. Find ways to honor your feelings of loss as well-- share fond memories with a friend, ask your trusted social circle for a reminder of why you chose estrangement.”
― Devon Price, Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically

“I will add a piece of advice that my therapist Jason gave me when I was debating whether I'd endured true abuse. He told me that he couldn't travel back into the past and prove that anything I'd endured was abuse, but he could see that my behavior patterns were those commonly found in a person who had been repeatedly treated like their emotions didn't matter. Just as a surgeon can recognize a fracture that is consistent with a physical struggle, Jason could look at my behavior and fears and recognize the lingering effects of being emotionally invalidated, neglected, and used by adults for comfort.”
― Devon Price, Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically

“Because so many Autistic people struggle to find social acceptance when we are young, we tend to develop into adults who don't believe in our own right to have and enforce boundaries. We may be so accustomed to being mistreated and accepting whatever small scraps of positive social attention we do receive that we're not even sure when our boundaries have been crossed. Not only are Autistic people more vulnerable to interpersonal abuse than non-Autistic people, we also face challenges in knowing the difference between casual acquaintances and true friends. We may find it unnatural to alter how much information or commitment we give others based on the depth of the relationship. If our relationships are to become unmasked, we have to learn to voice our boundaries. But that begins with getting to know what our boundaries even are.”
― Devon Price, Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically

“Numerous unmasking Autistics that I've spoken to have left careers, ended marriages, gone no-contact with certain family members, moved across the country, downsized their homes, or started families after discovering who they really are. After we begin separating our mindsets from people who mistreat us and make us feel defective, we gain a new ability to check in with our own beliefs. Then, instead of constantly asking ourselves if somebody is mad at us, or trying to think up ways we can prevent any conflict before it begins, we get to take the next step and ponder [...]”
― Devon Price, Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically

“People with so-called "female autism" may be able to make eye contact, carry on a conversation, or hide their tics and sensory sensitivities. They might spend the first few decades of their lives with no idea they're autistic at all, believing instead that they're just shy, or highly sensitive.”
― Devon Price, Unmasking for Life: The Autistic Person's Guide to Connecting, Loving, and Living Authentically