A Fast Bike Through the Badlands Quotes

“Spanish moss isn’t in fact Spanish. It is not even a moss. It was first named by the native American Indians who called it ‘itla-okla,’ which meant tree hair, for so it surely resembles. The French, when they arrived in the region thought that it looked like the long grey beards of the conquistadors and named it Spanish beard, and over time the name changed to the Spanish moss that we know it as today.”
― Andy C Wareing, A Fast Bike Through the Badlands

“Luckily, I had grown used to snakes having lived in the south-eastern United States for over fifteen years and, like a Ray Mears or a Steve Irwin, I knew exactly how to handle this potentially tricky and dangerous encounter. I let out a shriek so high pitched it made a nearby dog start to howl and, mid-step, with only one foot on the ground, still somehow manage to leap six feet into the air. My manly yell scared the snake, and it slivered thickly away into the undergrowth by the riverbank. With us both suitably startled and with adrenalin now spurting from my nose and ears I fanned a hand in front of my face to get some air and muttered a breathless, “Well, I do declare…” and hurried back to the bike and set off back on my journey.”
― Andy C Wareing, A Fast Bike Through the Badlands

“I will spare you the ordeal that was Iowa. The state motto of Iowa is, “Our liberties we prize, and our rights we will maintain.” It really should be, “Flat as a plate of piss and nowt but corn.”
― Andy C Wareing, A Fast Bike Through the Badlands