Compelling People Quotes

“Beauty has a kind of blinding effect on our judgment. For instance, research shows we judge writing more favorably if we find the author attractive. This could be because of the halo effect we discussed earlier, where someone with one positive quality—beauty, in this case—is assumed also to have others. Or in some cases people may rate beautiful people highly on other attributes just to curry favor with them.”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

“But when you’re inside that circle with them, there is no more “you” and “they”—now there is “we,” and you speak of your shared feelings”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

“Anytime you are heading into a situation where you want your body and mind to feel powerful, adopting strength poses a few minutes in advance will help make that happen.”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

“But when you’re inside that circle with them, there is no more “you” and “they”—now there is “we,” and you speak of your shared feelings and”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

“It is no secret that a story is a powerful way to convey a thought, feeling, or idea. Storytellers from Aesop to Jesus knew that using tales and parables made it easy for broad audiences to understand, recall, and even spread a kernel of wisdom. So where do strength and warmth fit in? There is a significant body of research demonstrating that our brains are wired for stories. We can tell our friends what happened in our favorite movies far more easily than we can reel off the five points of a strategic management plan, because the devices that make stories work—heroes and villains, plots and subplots—stick with us. That makes them the very best way to get in the circle: Everyone likes stories. We have all been listening to them since childhood, and doing it relaxes our critical faculties and lowers our guard. In that respect, sharing a story with others is an inherently warm experience.”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

“four behaviors that trigger concerns about trustworthiness: leaning away; crossing arms; touching, rubbing, or grasping hands together; and touching the face, stomach, or other parts of the body. To varying degrees, these demonstrate anxiety, self-protection, and avoidance, all of which are at odds with the openness associated with warmth.”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential

“We can be unmoved by people we recognize as aesthetically appealing, and we can also find ourselves powerfully attracted to people who are not. You can get along fine without good looks, even in the romantic department, if you have other strength and warmth signals working for you. And you can also easily end up miserable with good looks if you do not know how to work with them.”
― John Neffinger, Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential