Eggs, Beans, and Crumpets Quotes

“The whole wheeze in married life, he had come to learn, was to give the opposite number as few opportunities of saying 'Oh, how could you?' as possible.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Eggs, Beans, and Crumpets

“I see no percentage in your being alive. I wish you were a corpse, preferably a mangled one. I should like to dance on your remains.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Eggs, Beans, and Crumpets

“The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg. This proof that it was possible for a child, in spite of a rocky start, to turn eventually into a suave and polished boulevardier with finely chiselled features heartened him a good deal, causing him to hope for the best.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Eggs, Beans, and Crumpets

“Himself strongly in favour of sharing the wealth, it seemed to him that the last thing to place in the hands of an impressionable child was a little wee passbook, starting it off in life—as it infallibly must—with capitalistic ideas out of tune with the trend of modern enlightened thought. Slip a baby ten quid, he reasoned, and before you knew where you were you had got another Economic Royalist on your hands.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Eggs, Beans, and Crumpets