Alice in Wonderland Quotes

“Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, In that case, you should always be a unicorn.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“We’re late. For a VERY important date”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn’t? I mean, I’m trying to figure out why I can’t seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“My butt has a maximum drive time of seven hours.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“The words ‘drink me’ come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Right, 'the Queen of Hearts.' Sounds to me like you’re just one bitch in a whole pack of cards, baby.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I think it should be obvious by now that I’m not necessarily interested in reality.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Do you ever answer anything in a way that people expect you to?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I’m busy trying not to look like anything edible.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t use ‘one of mine.’ You refused to let me pay for my ice cream cone with a good ol’ fashioned credit card, and you forced your pretend money on me. Secondly, I can’t take any currency seriously that looks like it belongs in a psychedelic-inspired Special Edition Monopoly box.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“That’s the thing you girls never get. It doesn't matter if you just woke up, or just got done bawling, or just finished your make-up. When a guy’s all love-sick over a chick, she looks exactly the same to him all the time: perfect.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Be a good little Alice and just follow the White Rabbit, okay?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Aw, you’re nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I slump in my chair, thinking how a narcotic party of one is no party at all.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I think it would be prudent to advise you that due to extraordinary circumstances beyond our control, the original plan we had for participating in and extending the duration of the IPT Main Event has been drastically altered, specifically as it pertains to certain individuals competing—”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“If you ever pull a switcheroo like that again, Dee, I’m going to offer your boyfriend ten thousand dollars to make out with Alice for two minutes.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I want to kiss my brother for being so tactful. Rabbit looks grateful as well, and I can only imagine what it would be like to trot out your embarrassing 'enjo kosai' problem in front of your sister, your former love-interest of a couple of weeks, and her two siblings.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Souris says you wanted to see me, so here I am. Talk quick before I decide to beat the shit out of you and throw your bloody carcass back across the International Date Line.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“As you know, the International Poker Tour, by its own admission, knows very little about poker games, one of which ended tragically last week when an IPT-sanctioned tournament aboard a yacht in Australia accidentally used tarot cards instead of playing cards. That’s right, it’s true! Apparently no one noticed until someone laid down a full house and the dealer died.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Faye, if you got eaten by another shark, would you please at least have the decency to say so? My time is kind of limited, if you know what I’m sayin’.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Well, you played me, Rabbit. You played me, and it worked, and I’m not the kind of person to make the same mistake twice. Your whole life is a game, but you know what? I already have a life. Poker’s nothing to me but a goddamn deck of cards.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Turns out making a dramatic exit is a lot harder when you have to stand there and wait another twenty minutes for a boat to dock.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Enjoy your little run because there’s no way you get off this boat without her trying to slice your Achilles in half.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“And just so you know—that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you’re going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Wait, and you had to ask him if Faye’s in danger? IF? Okay, first of all, I’m just going to admit that I didn’t know Japan had a Mafia, but I also didn’t know they got a Disney World. If someone gets an invitation from the Mafia, I’d say there’s potential for a bit of danger, wouldn’t you? I mean, am I the only one here who saw Goodfellas?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“You can donate marrow for her, Alice Faye, you can’t cure her. You can win a poker tournament, but that won’t make her want to live. So I’ll ask you again: Who are you, and what are you doing here? Because Munny sure doesn’t want you to be her, and she wants someone to be out in the world living since she’s got the market cornered on dying right now.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“You know what Munny said to me, right before we left? She said, ‘Watching someone die is hard work. Go to Australia and watch Faye fall in love with some dude named Rabbit. That should be fun.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“That’s exactly where they send entry-level diplomats. After you cut your teeth on a few civil wars and a famine or two, you might get lucky and be given a plum post somewhere in the SECOND World.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Are we turning back? Because if you’re just trying to solve my post-traumatic stress problem by exposing me to rock sharks until I’m desensitized, trust me—that ship has sailed.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I think I can say with confidence that it’s a lot funnier if you haven’t actually been attacked by a shark.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland