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Like It Never Was Like It Never Was by Faith Gardner
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“I can cut things and people out of my life with the ruthless precision of a surgeon.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“But like love, goodness is never really unconditional. Push, push, push … at some point, somebody’s going to push back.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“Jesus can’t help you now, love, he’s long dead. And has there ever been a man more overrated? Let’s not speak of him, please, not in my casa.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“After an unspeakable eternity on the toilet, I finally get up again. In the mirror, my face is pale and moonish and hollow-eyed as a ghost. I’m shaking and sweating and feel like I weigh half of what I did when I woke up this morning. My ass is on fire. My stomach is spasming.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“I was relieved when that was ruled out. But I’ve been experiencing the splitting of the mind anyway, living in two realities at once. Though don’t we all to some degree? Actors on a stage. A reader scanning a page and imagining a world that doesn’t exist. A writer, a liar, a person who goes to a retail job and smiles at people they despise. Saying “fine” when someone asks how you’re doing. Aren’t we all splitting, all the time?”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“There’s an eyeball staring at me from the bottom of the drain.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“But there’s no way to heal without discomfort. If healing was easy, no one in this world would hurt.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“Written in the steam, the smeary words I KNOW WHAT YOU DID stare back at me.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“We’re born alone and we die alone. Company is temporary.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was
“Over the years, I’ve learned the art of how to sever ties. Call it a knife-sharp gift. Where it came from, I can’t say—born, learned, either way, it’s mine. I can cut things and people out of my life with the ruthless precision of a surgeon.”
Faith Gardner, Like It Never Was