Murphy's Lore After Hours Quotes

“My plan was ill conceived, against convention, and, above all, silly. I loved it the moment I thought of it.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“Several rows of spectators were blocking our view of the upcoming parade, almost all of them more vertically endowed than we were. In short, vertical envy had reared its ugly head and was making faces at us.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“It didn’t matter that everyone else seemed to be doing it. To butcher a cliche, if everyone jumped off a bridge, they would all get wet. And some were going to drown. Or”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“Maybe I was waxing nostalgic, but that was certainly better than waxing my legs. I don’t know how women do that—the legs, not the nostalgic part.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“Hercules came through the roof like a cannonball, his lion-skin trench coat wrapped around him. When I say cannonball, I mean both the metal ball and the type people do off a diving board. It was especially impressive when you realize we were in a five story building. Hermes”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“The two of you are trespassing on private property. Get out before I call the cops,” said Gary. “Yeah, right, because concerned citizens always open fire with automatic weapons first, then call the police.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“was doing the will of Allah, therefore he knew Allah would allow no harm to come to him. Of course, he had no reason for this conclusion, other than his own ego and misguided notions of what the divine creator wished of his children. He assumed that the divine would obey his wishes, instead of realizing it should be the opposite.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“I’m looking for a trophy husband, myself,” said Mandi. “Yeah, but she has trouble getting them to stay up on the mantle,” I said.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection

“You’re drunk, I assume.” “Of course. Got a bottle nearby and everything.” “Good. I know how you get when you’re sober.” “Mom, I have been drunk every day of my life with only a handful of exceptions since I was eight years old. I’m not going to risk being sober without a very good reason. You know that better than anyone,” said Mosie. “I know, but a mother worries.”
― Patrick Thomas, Nightcaps: - a Murphy's Lore After Hours collection