The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous Quotes

“It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables.”
― Derek Landy, The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous

“China's voice came through the phone. "Has the shark eaten him yet?"
"Not yet," Skulduggery muttered. "So what happens if I do it wrong?"
"Geoffrey gets eaten," China said. "Am I on loudspeaker?”
― Derek Landy, The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous

“Well," Skulduggery said, "purely to get this out of the way, I'll just go ahead and say it. There does not seem to be any sign of a railway track on the carpet or, indeed, a train hiding behind the sofa. And I don't think one could have fitted through the door.”
― Derek Landy, The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous