Real Love Quotes

“Without Real Love, we’re already in the worst kind of pain, and we’ll go to great lengths to keep ourselves safe from experiencing more pain. If we can’t have genuine acceptance, we can at least do everything in our power to avoid more disapproval. One way to minimize the risk of criticism and pain is to avoid doing anything unfamiliar. So we stay in the same boring, dead-end jobs, attempt to learn nothing new, and continue in stagnant, unrewarding—but predictable—relationships. When we’re not being actively injured by something or someone, we confuse that safety with real happiness.”
― Greg Baer, Real Love: The Truth about Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships

“Similarly, the anger we feel toward our partners results from past events (whether or not we felt Real Love—mostly from our parents) and present decisions (whether we choose to be angry or loving with our partners). We’re reacting to a lifetime of trying to survive without unconditional love, and anger is an understandable response because it makes us feel less helpless and afraid—for the moment. It protects us and briefly makes us feel better. But it never makes us feel loved or happy or less alone.”
― Greg Baer, Real Love: The Truth about Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships

“Most relationships fail because we become angry and blame our anger on something our partner did or did not do. We need to remember that our anger is actually a reaction to the feelings of helplessness and fear that result from a lifetime of struggling to survive without unconditional love. Getting angry and assigning blame may give us a fleeting sense of power that momentarily relieves our fear, but those feelings originate within us, not with our partner’s behavior.”
― Greg Baer, Real Love: The Truth about Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships