The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife Quotes

“You’ll never regret being kind even when people aren’t kind to you.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Well, I guess you can’t always rely on feeling in love. That comes and goes. It’s a decision, too, you know. You have to look after it. The more you can make the other person feel loved, fill their tank as it were, the more they have in their reserve to make you feel loved.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Love is . . . about picking someone up and never, ever putting them down again, no matter how heavy things become.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Mum had always told her that forgiveness had to be complete: “You can remember, but you can’t forgive halfway, Hannah darling.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Grief was love with nowhere to go.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“You’d be surprised how people treat you differently when you’re older. You don’t feel any different, but it’s as though you fade away, like a Polaroid picture in reverse.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Grief is often invisible to the outside world—”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“It said a lot about a person, the way they treated someone with dementia. A little bit of kindness and patience spread further than butter on a hot crumpet.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Well, I guess you can’t always rely on feeling in love. That comes and goes. It’s a decision, too, you know. You have to look after it. The more you can make the other person feel loved, fill their tank as it were, the more they have in their reserve to make you feel loved. It’s a cycle. I used to try and plan little surprises when I could if ever things were getting stale.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Feelings are like flatulence: better out than in,”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“But it will be an even stronger love, strengthened by the daily exercise of choosing each other. Not just a love that loves when things are easy, when you’re feeling happy. No, it will be an unbreakable love that continues loving when things are hard. One that loves through bad times, through loss, in health, and in sickness.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“His mother had always said that Fred had been born with an extra helping of love in his heart, and he thrived on sharing that love with those around him. The problem was now he didn’t have anywhere to put it. Grief was love with nowhere to go.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Late-stage dementia was like an empty house that the tenant had checked out of. It was the same distant stare his mother had had in the years before she passed away from complications related to early-onset dementia, the very cruelest of diseases that stole the mind and soul without mercifully taking the body as well.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“They say that time heals, yet the ache still caught his breath. Grief is often invisible to the outside world—Fred was like still water whose reflection mirrored the sun but concealed dark and murky depths underneath. He often wondered how his body still held together when his soul had broken into a million pieces.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Until he was widowed, Fred never realized that he’d taken physical touch for granted—yet it meant so much.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Grateful for whatever you have, whether it’s a new car or a new packet of chips.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Until he was widowed, Fred never realized that he’d taken physical touch for granted—yet it meant so much. How many millions of other people were going without hugs?”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Enjoy every moment—life is not a dress rehearsal.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Asking for help isn’t failing”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“All those he cherished stood in his past now, and he had no one to look forward to loving.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“What a blessing sleep could be sometimes, a merciful relief from dementia, from pain, from grief. A brief holiday where there were no suitcases full of burdens to carry. In dreams you could forget that you didn’t remember, and remember those who were no longer there.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Fred had learned all the tips and tricks over the years: never argue, go with the flow; never shame, instead distract; never condescend, always encourage. All the while, his heart was breaking.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“The single drop of pee made a pitiful splash. Fred sighed as he stood over the cracked toilet bowl that, like him, had seen better days. The public restrooms at Wattle River Reserve weren’t as dirty as he’d feared, though the walls hosted a colorful array of aging graffiti. Another couple of measly drips. Was there a job in the armed forces for people who could urinate in Morse code? If so, he’d be an ideal candidate, though it was unlikely they’d accept eighty-two-year-olds.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Feelings are like flatulence: better out than in, that’s what I always say.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Asking for help isn’t failing, you know—it’s refusing to fail.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Fred woke with a start. Or possibly a fart.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Dawn had always said she was the lucky one as she would never have to face life without him. Was she right? Was cancer less painful than grief?”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Hannah proudly let out the big juicy fart she had been holding in for just this moment, a sure-fire way to escape her sister’s clutches. It was so loud it gave her the giggles. Normally she was the queen of silent-but-deadly, but this one was noisy and deadly, a winning combo.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“Hannah proudly let out the big juicy fart she had been holding in for just this moment, a sure-fire way to escape her sister’s clutches.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

“that’s not the dementia. He’s always been like that.” She patted Albert’s hand and he looked up at her with a delighted custardy grin. “It’s one thing the dementia hasn’t stolen from us. When memory goes, you see, all that’s left is emotion. What we have for breakfast or where we parked the car or what year it is doesn’t matter, but we still feel who we love—and we love each other very, very much.” She leaned in closer to Fred. “People always say that the magnificent love you see in movies doesn’t exist,” she whispered. “It actually does.” But Fred already knew that.”
― Anna Johnston, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife