Strange Medicine Quotes

“them. Through most of medical history, doctors happily steered clear of incontinence, with folk medicine filling the vacuum. People ate roast pig penis sandwiches topped with buttered horse dung and stuck frogs to their kids’ waists. Mice seem to have been a universal remedy; in disparate cultures all over the world, people had them fried, boiled, baked into pancakes, and worn around the neck.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“A doctor would tie a leech to some silk thread and lower it down his patient’s throat. When the leech became heavy with blood, he’d reel it in like a fish. To bleed a man’s testicles, doctors often applied, over the course of several days, a hundred or more leeches.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“Louis XI of France gave enemas to his pet dogs, and Louis XIII had 212 enemas in one year, along with 215 vomiting sessions and 47 bloodlettings. Louis XIV, the King of Clyster, had more than two thousand enemas, sometimes four times in a day. They apparently worked—he lasted seventy-two years on the throne, successfully prosecuted the War of Spanish Succession, and eliminated the last vestiges of feudalism.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“Ferrand also suggested shaving down an overly long clitoris and burning a woman’s thighs with acid. If a case of lovesickness was so urgent that it threatened to turn into lycanthropy (werewolfism), he recommended bleeding the veins of the arms until complete heart failure ensued, then cauterizing the front of the head with a searing hot iron.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“Not to be outdone, a medical-minded Franciscan monk published a recipe for a healing marmalade, made of human blood. “[S]tir it to a batter with a knife…pound it…through a sieve of finest silk.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“Gargling with goat urine was one remedy for a person who accidentally swallowed a leech. If that didn’t work, a patient would abstain from water to make sure the leech was thirsty. Then, a hollow bronze tube would be shoved down the patient’s throat. Next, a red-hot cautery iron would be shoved down the tube. Finally, a nice, cold glass of water would be placed in front of the patient, and the thirsty leech would be grabbed when it made its move.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“By the seventh century, eminent physicians were arguing over the best cure for lovesickness. All agreed, however, that keeping the brain sufficiently moist was absolutely critical. To achieve the desired humidity, doctors would force a lovesick man to smell the menstrual cloth of his beloved or inhale the stinking embers of her burned feces.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“In ancient times, urine was a prophylactic, a health drink. John XXI, the only medical doctor ever to become pope, drank it religiously until the ceiling he designed himself fell on his head, killing him. Galen wasn’t a big fan of urine therapy—he couldn’t stand the smell—but did suggest drinking “gold glue,” the urine of an innocent boy stirred in a copper pot.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages

“From the Smith Papyrus, we know that head wounds were treated with fresh meat, and for a headache the Kahun Papyrus prescribed goose fat rubbed into the eyes, with a helping of jackass liver. A person with a toothache would have a dead mouse stuffed down their throat. People with cataracts had hot broken glass poured into their eyes, a treatment that actually worked, and ingrown eyelashes were rubbed with bat’s blood.”
― Nathan Belofsky, Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages