Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker Quotes

“felt SO insanely happy I could just . . . VOMIT sunshine, rainbows, confetti, glitter and . . . um . . . those yummy little Skittles thingies!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak

“Miss Bri-Bri has designed a gazillion booty-ful dresses for very famous and important people, like Princess Sugar Plum, Selena Gomez, Beyoncé, and Mrs. Claus! And”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“HIDEOUS! Sorry, Mom, but vomit green is NOT my colour. And that dress is impossible to walk in! It’s so tight around my legs that it looks like a giant fish tail. While the other bridesmaids walked gracefully to the “Wedding March” song, I flopped my way down the aisle like a human-sized catfish or something! Those rug burns were pure agony! It was getting late and I was running out of time! The last thing I wanted to do was to traumatise Brandon by showing up at the dance looking like a MUTANT FISH GIRL or something. Right now I’m SO frustrated that I’m seriously considering just NOT going to the dance. Why is my life so hopelessly CRUDDY?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak

“WHAAAT?! No way! Brandon, You said you couldn’t go”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak

“:-p!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“What was zat, Miss Penelope?” she asked. “You are on zee phone with Dora zee Explorer and Boots zee Monkey? You say Boots needs new boots? Very well, dah-ling! Pencil him in before my six o’clock appointment with SpongeBob!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“WHY in the world would MacKenzie ask ME to vote for HER for Sweetheart Princess when it’s so obvious that she HATES my guts?!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“SQUEEEEEE !”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak

“wheezing,”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“HAPPY”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“FROM BRANDON: Hi Nikki, Looking forward 2 going 2 the dance with you. Good luck finding a dress that will actually make you look beautiful! 7:39 p.m.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“MacKenzie laughed. “He”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“flirting”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak

“Kidz Bop”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“yummy Nikki Nuggets dipped in chlorine.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“later. Right now I have a babysitting emergency on my hands!! I’ve heard how people can end up emotionally scarred for life simply by losing their favorite security blanket or toy as a little kid. Which probably explains why a lot of the kids at my middle school are so MESSED UP! But what am I supposed to do in a situation like this? Call 911 and report a missing dirty sock named Mr. Buttons?! !!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak

“Chloe! This is a middle school dance, not the HUNGER”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“BRANDON:”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“FIERCE!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“When you’re drowning, you don’t say “I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,” you just scream!’ ”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“For the next five minutes, we just sat there nervously sipping our sodas and staring at each other with these big, dorky grins plastered across our faces. It was SO romantic! Well, kind of.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“Dah-ling! Where are you going?! Don’t be skurd!” Brianna said in an awful fake French accent that sounded more like a six-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“I’M GOING TO THE SWEETHEART DANCE WITH BRANDON!!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“gossip.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“That’s when Chloe and Zoey stared at me in disbelief. I think”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“When you’re drowning, you don’t say “I would be incredibly pleased if someone would have the foresight to notice me drowning and come and help me,” you just scream!’ ”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“Chloe! This is a middle school dance, not the HUNGER GAMES!” I yelled. “I want to go HOME. Not to JAIL!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“Actually, Nikki, there’s just no way I could say NO to you!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“puppet.”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker

“BRANDON PLUS NIKKI DIVIDED BY A RANDOM TEXT MESSAGE EQUALS . . . HEARTBREAK!”
― Rachel Renée Russell, Tales from a Not-So-Happy Heartbreaker