Dinner for Vampires Quotes

“I found out that when the numbness lasts for long enough it bears a striking resemblance to peace.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I think we’re all little cathedrals of contradiction. Terrifying darkness and shocking beauty coexist in everyone, and God doesn’t wait for us to clean out all the bad before celebrating the good. It’s scandalous, really—that kind of love.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“There is one indisputable way to identify a cult, one characteristic they all share. If is not a belief in alien spacecraft or a plentiful supply of Flavor Aid. It is the notion that anyone who does not agree with the group's beliefs or choices, who expresses concerns, who simply dare to ask questions, is deemed "unsafe". Every good thing about that person must be subsumed by the fact that they disagree with me, so I can boil down their character into something vilifiable. For mind control to work, there has to be heroes and villains. It has to be us versus them. In a cult, it isn't good enough for you to say, "I love you, but I disagree with you." You must affirm my choices and beliefs. Only then can you be considered "safe". In a cult, safety means agreement.

The irony of course, is that while you are not allowed to have your own opinions about my beliefs, I am allowed to have an opinion about yours.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“Metin Basoglu, a psychiatrist and trauma researcher, studied the psychological effects of torture on political POWs and war survivors from Yugoslavia and Turkey by comparing continuous versus intermittent torture. His findings showed that torture with breaks between abuses induced more severe psychological effects than continuous torture. Victims of intermittent torture had higher rates of depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The unpredictability and anticipation of more abuse heightened stress and anxiety, which then caused "learned helplessness," making victims feel powerless and passive over time. This increased compliance because resistance seemed futile." - p. 215”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I wish it had occurred to me in that moment to ask him one question: Who has spiritual authority over you? Such a simple and vital question to ask any leader - spiritual or otherwise. I didn't ask, though. Instead, I thought sincerely about who had invested the most in my life recently. Pam was becoming the warm, sweet mom I never had. Les was becoming the emotionally available father figure I always wanted. This whole group felt like the loud, fun, real family I had dreamed of. If anyone was going to help me figure out the right way to live, it would be them. - pp. 93”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I was generally more comfortable alone than with others precisely because of the expectations I often felt accompanied company.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“In a cult, safety means agreement. The irony, of course, is that while you are not allowed to have your own opinion about my beliefs, I am allowed to have an opinion about yours.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I do not want ‘unity’ at the expense of truth.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I was terrified of being misunderstood by the people I loved the most.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“There is one indisputable way to identify a cult, one characteristic they all share. It is not a belief in alien spacecraft or a plentiful supply of Flavor Aid. It is the notion that anyone who does not agree with the group's beliefs or choices, who expresses concerns, who simply dares to ask questions, is deemed "unsafe." Every good thing about that person must be subsumed by the fact that they disagree with me, so I can boil down their character into something vilifiable. For mind control to work, there has to be heroes and villains. It has to be us versus them. In a cult, it isn't good enough for you to say, "I love you, but I disagree with you." You must affirm my choices and beliefs. Only then can you be considered "safe." In a cult, safety means agreement." - p. 296”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“If someone wants to label you against the loving truth of who you are, you are empowered to make the declaration ‘I don’t receive that.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I know you can, Joy. But if someone is worried about you and calling you repeatedly and texting, it’s just kind to let them know that you’re all right.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“For mind control to work, there has to be heroes and villains. It has to be us versus them. In a cult, it isn’t good enough for you to say, “I love you, but I disagree with you.” You must affirm my choices and beliefs. Only then can you be considered “safe.” In a cult, safety means agreement.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“In that moment, with my eyes closed, I thought of Les and of what a huge responsibility it must be for him to constantly bear the weight of people. People asking for help, for wisdom, for prayer. The thought made me grateful that I was being shepherded by someone who was so strong and unselfish, because even though it felt good to be a conduit for peace in Camille, I felt something else, too, something that in the wrong hands could be used to manipulate and abuse: I felt power.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“There is one indisputable way to identify a cult, one characteristic they all share...it is the notion that anyone who does not agree with the group's beliefs or choices, who expresses concerns, who simply dares to ask questions, is deemed "unsafe.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“The only way people change their perception of abuse survivors is if they are challenged—if they hear about what it’s really like from someone who experienced it, rather than have the usual cult stereotypes and clichés reinforced by whatever trashy true-crime podcasts they listen to and documentaries they love to watch.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I sat with her on the kitchen floor. Octonauts Band-Aid, Popsicle from the freezer, and she was laughing again. As I watched those bright eyes, the rage in me quelled. I thought of the last lines I’d delivered as Haley. It’s a magical place. I’ve seen that magic in your eyes. There’s only one Tree Hill, and it’s your home. I wanted Rosie to be able to feel that kind of magic and peace. I had her. I had her. Nothing else mattered.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I hated myself. What a waste of space I was. A waste of talent. Of time.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“hated myself. What a waste of space I was. A waste of talent. Of time.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“Coldplay’s “Fix You” came on the radio like a ridiculous movie cliché, and I stared out the window trying to be strong and not succeeding.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“Metin Başoğlu, a psychiatrist and trauma researcher, studied the psychological effects of torture on political POWs and war survivors from Yugoslavia and Turkey by comparing continuous versus intermittent torture. His findings showed that torture with breaks between abuses induced more severe psychological effects than continuous torture. Victims of intermittent torture had higher rates of depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The unpredictability and anticipation of more abuse heightened stress and anxiety, which then caused “learned helplessness,” making victims feel powerless and passive over time. This increased compliance because resistance seemed futile.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“Let’s call him Pirelli, after the snake-oil salesman in Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“Intelligent and ambitious people want to be challenged, and someone having high expectations of you is a turn-on. High demand is a motivator, success is a drug, and before you know it, you're rationalizing anything in order to meet the demand and get your high. The demand has become your god.
There <\i>is one indisputable way to identify a cult, one characteristic they all share. It is not a belief in alien spacecraft or a plentiful supply of Flavor Aid. It is the notion that anyone who does not agree with the group's beliefs or choices, who expresses concerns, who simply dares to ask questions, is deemed "unsafe." Every good thing about that person must be subsumed by the fact that they disagree with me, so I can boil down their character into something vilifiable. For mind control to work, there has to be heroes and villains. It has to be us versus them. In a cult, it isn't good enough for you to say "I love you, but I disagree with you." You must affirm my choices and beliefs. Only then can you be considered "safe." In a cult, safety means agreement.
The irony, of course, is that while you are not allowed to have your own opinion about my beliefs, I am allowed to have an opinion about yours.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“...cults can come in multiple guises and anybody can fall for one...”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“I was angry with him for suddenly showing no interest in me besides my body, and he was angry that everything he'd been promised about wives being a personal blow-up doll was false.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“...something ingrained in me from years of being in these charismatic environments was that Christians were supposed to have the ultimate answers, so we shouldn't take advice from nonbelievers.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“As soon as we started complaining, no matter how justifiably, we caught ourselves, chastised ourselves for being so negative and spoiled and ungrateful, and turned it into a blessing - an opportunity for learning and growth.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“<\i> No expectations. That seemed impossible. There were always expectations. To prepare, to perform, to deliver, to speak up, to be quiet, to relax, to behave, to be intelligent. There were expectations to pay attention, be on time, be professional, be original but don't be weird, be creative but don't make anyone uncomfortable. Be collaborative but trust your instincts. Be tough. Be sweet. Smile.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show

“My husband's father had encouraged his three sons from a young age to take out their aggression against women on the drywall and furniture, and he set the example himself. "Right in front of the women, if needed," Les would coach, "so she can see how passionate you are about her and see how controlled you are to not harm her in spite of the fact that she makes you so angry." And boy, did I make my husband angry. Everything I did, said, thought - my very existence, it seemed.”
― Bethany Joy Lenz, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show