Mayor of the Universe Quotes

“I am sorry, Fletcher,” said Tandy, beating him to the apology. “But to explain the hows and whys of my earthly presence would be to explain something your brain is not capable of processing. No offense, of course.” “No offense taken.” “And please remember that I’m new to this, too. I am certain there will be many situations for which I have no explanation.”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel

“Oh, my,” said Fletcher, and not knowing exactly what to do with the proof of an alien visit, he scratched it.”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel

“So tell me about the God you believe in,” said Charmat. “Well, He’s—” “Oh, so he’s a he. Does he have a penis?” Fletcher blushed. “That’s not a very nice question to ask.” “Why not?” “Because . . . because it’s sacrilegious. A person doesn’t go around talking about God’s privates.” The aliens tittered. “We’re not laughing at you,” said Charmat kindly. “Well, maybe we are. But in a loving way.”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel

“Suddenly the room went dark, but the deepest blackest darkness was inside Fletcher and he moaned, sadness like a death grip around his heart. In a flash, the lights returned and the aliens clustered around Fletcher. Fletcher groaned. “Oh, my. What was that?” “That was us,” said Charmat. “In another configuration.” “You can be feelings?” “We can be anything we want.” “Despair,” said Fletcher. “That’s what I was filled with and it was awful.” “Sorry,” said Charmat. “But we don’t like to be called clichés.” “I apologize as well.”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel

“Dear Readers: Please forgive this intrusion, but we (whom you will get to know shortly) feel a need to express to those who have been so kind to come along on Fletcher’s journey thus far: Sorry. It is now evident that what is about to happen to our hero is beyond usual earthly conventions, if one subscribes to the idea that earthly conventions are, in fact, usual. We suspect you do not; advanced and literate earthlings like you (yes, flattery is a tool plied in any dimension) are willing to suspend disbelief when faced with the irrefutable wonder and mystery that exist in such depth, scope, and volume on your planet. Still, you might have preferred the trajectory of Fletcher’s story to follow a less wild arc, perhaps something transformational, but more along the lines of a career change, or an act of heroism, or the meeting of a soul mate. At this point, we’re certain Fletcher would also opt for these more traditional choices. No one, however constrained their present life may be, is prepared when that life is tumbled, jumbled, tossed, spun, jerked, and turned upside down. We do not presume to think that a story can take such a sharp left turn without some sense of being jostled. We hope nothing was spilled. And now, we request your patience and a willingness to go with what is decidedly a very unusual flow. . . . Imagine how Fletcher feels.”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel

“A tear fell from her son’s eye and splashed on Olive’s cheek, which shamed away her vanity, making her want to concentrate on bigger issues. Fletcher, I love you! It was hard for me to show it—I had to make a living for us, didn’t I?—but honestly, Fletcher, you were a prince among sons. A prince! How did a gentleman like you come from a cad like your father?”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel

“He wondered what the point was of possessing a wild heart if it was ultimately harnessed by a timid soul. Others were capable of the adventure he yearned for”
― Lorna Landvik, Mayor of the Universe: A Novel