Aunt Erma's Cope Book Quotes

“THOU SHALT NOT CONSIDER GRAVY AND HOLLANDAISE SAUCE A BEVERAGE.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days

“When a man’s got cream in the refrigerator at home, he won’t go out looking for two-percent butterfat.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days

“I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days

“The thirty-minute nap. When I heard a key in the door, I’d jump up, throw cold water on my face, smooth my clothes, pull the bedspread taut, stagger into the kitchen, and throw an onion in the oven. When my husband mentioned the chenille marks on my face, I’d lie and say, “It’s bad skin.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days

“I ran into the driveway, my husband said, “I thought you were supposed to be walking.” “I was,” I panted, “until I ran out of Twinkies to hold off the dogs.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days

“THOU SHALT NOT PUNISH THYSELF BY TRYING ON A BATHING SUIT WEARING KNEE HI’S.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days

“All I know is I was possibly the only woman in the world dedicated to inner peace and tranquility who would end up with varicose veins of the neck from shouting.”
― Erma Bombeck, Aunt Erma's Cope Book: How To Get From Monday To Friday . . . In 12 Days