Home Sweet Home Quotes

“Whenever something new was greeted with disdain and dismissal, it was bound to become a blind spot that could eventually come back to bite someone in the ass.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“death takes many forms, and those who live a long life die through stagnation long before their bodies cease breathing.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Maybe we should talk—” Before I could finish, Yina grabbed some kind of stone sculpture from one of the nearby shelves and chucked it right into the raven’s face. She put considerable force behind her throw, and when it struck the raven’s head, there”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“I could see the advertisement now: Why Pay a Therapist to Help You Learn About Yourself? Just Stare at a Blank Wall for a Hundred Years and Figure It Out Yourself!”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“I could hear the faintest yells of “for Valhalla!” and “for Glory!” and “for Jake to finally get a girlfriend!” echoing out over the water toward us.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“A siege warrior?” “You know, a fighter that specializes in being a walking mountain. To defeat them, you basically have to lay siege to them and hope they eventually starve to death.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Was taking advice from a fake copy of yourself a good thing or the ultimate form of narcissism and self-delusion?”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Yeah! Let’s get ’em!” “All they can do is kill us all! Let’s go!” “I’ve been hoping to die for an hour now! It’s about time!”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“My priests weren’t actually supposed to worship me!”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“It’s so great to meet you! I can’t believe you get to worship someone as cool as Jake. That must be really fun!” Groaning, I watched as the two of them immediately began talking about how great I was, and I had to excuse myself before I started puking my guts out.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Hey,” I told the illusion. “Try to use our new ability while I stab myself, okay?” The illusion looked just like me, and he and I locked eyes for a moment before he smiled and gave me a thumbs-up.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Yep. All mine. I earned it by helping a bunch of necromancers slaughter hundreds of people.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Crouched between Mizhu and me was a “swamp dog” that stood almost as tall as me. And it was . . . kind of a dog. In the loosest sense of the term. It had four legs, that much was true. The toes had thick webs between them, though, to let the dog run through the water and mud of the swamp. And yeah, it had a dog-like face, if the dog had been born in hell and ate solid metal for every meal. Its teeth were longer than my fingers and as thick as my forearm. And its fur was . . . there. Somewhere. Under all the mud it constantly coated itself in.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“It turned out that, yes, having a giant army of undead monsters did in fact help keep one safe. Who knew?”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“only the old, foolish gods think worship is so limited that it must be given only to one god. The swamp teaches us to give respect for many things at once, or we wouldn’t survive. We worship the water that gives us life. We worship the plants that shade, hide, and feed us. We worship the animals we eat, the monsters that hunt us and keep us safe, and the stars above, guiding us and illuminating our lives. There is room for all faith in the swamp, and we are richer for the diversity.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“After a rather lengthy discussion about the difference between a human man and a human woman, which apparently the swampkin had never figured out because they were all sexless little snake monsters,”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“I’ve never seen an uglier face than yours, human!” “Your necks are so small and frail! No female variant of your species would ever be satisfied by you!” “You hit like the parasites that live under my scales, and you smell like them, too!” Thank the gods, the hydras of this world didn’t seem to regenerate their heads endlessly, or we might’ve had to listen to the annoying boss for hours.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but my mace will break you first.”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“Seriously, did everything in the swamp get together one day and go, “Hey, let’s make sure we all evolve the deadliest venom possible just to fuck with anything that dares to enter our swamp? And then let’s cover ourselves in shit and goo to make us even more disgusting?”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home

“There is no world in which I just jump into a fucking web-filled opening in the ground, Mizhu,”
― J.R. Mathews, Home Sweet Home