Oleander Quotes

“These walls and the two men inside had swallowed me whole once before, so when I emerged from the belly of the beast, I staggered into the world blinking and raw. This time, though, I have come armed. This time, I’ve come with sharp edges, blades, and a warrior’s hardened heart, and I’ll cut myself free without a moment’s hesitation”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“so I would. I’d love him in spite of everything he was and everything I knew he could be. No matter what he did, no matter how much he hurt me, in this I would be constant.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“Do you hate me?" I asked.
He frowned and shifted forward, closer, and held open his arms. I went into them and let him hold me.
"You know I don't. Jude, sometimes you're so fucking childlike, it scares me a little." He said, "I think I hate the person who hurt you, but then I remember that he was a child too.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“Caspien was an altarpiece, Deveraux his reredos, and I came to him in blind idolatry.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“I love you. I don’t want to remember a time when I didn’t. I love you. And as long as I am able to draw breath, then I will love you with every single one. I love you.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“I’d been telling the truth when I told him he’d saved me over and over again; because if Jude could love me, Jude who was perfect, Jude who was the sun, then it meant I was worth loving.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“No matter who or what I came to him as, he'd loved me. Every version of me. And I felt like myself only when he saw me. He looked at me the same way he looked at the world, with warmth and wonder and curiosity.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“You’re everywhere: in my head and my dreams, and I’m not sure what it all means.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“What on earth was wrong with me that I wasn't satisfied with this? Here was a man holding me to his chest and telling me my comfort was important to him, my feelings were important to him and yet my fucking soul ached for someone who'd thought nothing of either.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“As long as Caspien Deveraux breathed, I would love him.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“When I asked what she even meant by that, she said that every day since our parents died, she’d had the chance to be a mother to me. She’d had the chance to step up and prove that she could be a mother to someone who needed one. She’d concluded, and the universe had apparently agreed, that she hadn’t done a very good job of it. Therefore, she couldn’t be trusted with a baby of her own.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“I honestly don’t know if I have the energy,” he said.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“We’d fucked twice more last night before taking a dazed, languid shower together where I’d washed his body then his hair before sinking to my knees and sucking him off again. I wanted to do it again now.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“Only I could love Caspien how he deserved to be loved. And so I would. I’d love him in spite of everything he was and everything I knew he could be. No matter what he did, no matter how much he hurt me, in this I would be constant. As long as Caspien Deveraux breathed, I would love him.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“I nodded, watching him now with the same sort of covetous look strangers often did. Everything about him drew me in. How he smelled, the sound of his voice, his laugh, the shape of his mouth. But mostly, it was always this: the way he had of looking at me. As though I was something he needed in order to breathe. Some vital commodity he would die without.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“Was Bennett based on anyone?"
"What do you think?"
He nodded, smiling a little. "Thought so. Christ, he was awful."
I looked at him. "Misunderstood, I'd say. Easy to hate a guy like that without taking the time to understand him.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“I miss you," he whispered, so softly it felt like an exhale.
I froze, unable to breathe or move, pinned there by the hint of desperation in his voice. If I hadn't watched his mouth move, I'd have assumed I imagined it.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“All of my fears then led directly back to the same place: Never seeing Caspien again.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“How had I gone from loathing his every molecule to hanging on his every word? How had I gone from plotting his murder to dreaming about the scent of his skin and the shape of his hands? The wanting of him had grown so immense that it had the power to stop me in my tracks.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“You don't need to act like this, you know," I said calmly, though my heart was thundering behind my ribs. "Like nothing means anything or like everything's a joke. You don't need to act like that with me.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining

“There's not a soul alive who cares about me, Jude. This isn't bloody news to me." It didn't come out like he was looking for pity, but like some well-known fact he was tired of.”
― Scarlett Drake, Oleander: A Great Expectations Reimagining