Dishwasher Quotes

“During my bus ride out to the nursing home, I filled ou the rest of the story: After more than a thousand years of keeping their meat and dairy separated, along came Jesus who apparently told the Jews that it wasn't a big deal after all. He told anyone who'd listen that boiling a young goat in his mother's milk wasn't really a commandment from above, rather just a helpful culinary tip like 'Don't oversalt' or 'Thaw before eating.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States

“The warning about not chopping off one's face by stepping into the helicopter's tail rotary wing made a strong impression on me.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States

“When a costumed chicken came up and tried to teach me the freakin' chicken dance, without thinking, I barked, 'Get away from me!' Then, through the chicken's beak, I saw a dejected teenage girl. What a jerk I am, I thought, and apologized to her. Despite the fact that there were still more hours of pay to earn by doing nothing, yelling at six-foot chickens was a clear indication that it was time to go.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States

“For decades, he held a steady job at a customs office. He always arrived on time, worked without complaining and was the model employee. But those who got ahead, it seemed, were the bullshitters and the backstabbers. Being the good employee counted for little. He was passed over for promotions and raises . . . and remained poor.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States

“Though I was able to use the four months at the warehouse job to read twenty-six Mark Twain books in a row, I made no friends and got lonely.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States

“The last guy was a lazy shit,' he continued, 'but he never missed a day of work and you won't find too many dishwashers in America you can say that about.' ¶ I didn't bother to tell him he didn't find one in me.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States

“You into Charlie Parker?” he asked. “No,” I had to say again. “Well, Bird was a dishwasher just like me and you,” he said. “Worked at Jimmy’s Chicken Shack in New York. You can hear it in his sax.”
― Pete Jordan, Dishwasher: One Man's Quest to Wash Dishes in All Fifty States