Mother Pucker Quotes

“My mind starts buzzing with more questions, like how much am I willing to do for this woman? Am I willing to join a cult?”
― Swati M.H., Mother Pucker

“They tried to hire some idiot plumber, but as soon as I asked him a simple question, he just bailed.” “You didn’t ask him a simple question.” Dylan glares at her. “You asked him why he received his one and only three-star review on Yelp, and then you embarrassed him by reading it aloud to him! Who does that?” “He got that rating because he was late for a job! You know how I feel about tardiness,” Delia argues. “He had a personal emergency!” Liv jumps in. “God forbid people have emergencies! Then, you insulted his tools.” Delia waves her hand at our friends. “The guy was way too sensitive, in my opinion. If he was going to get that butt-hurt, then he really shouldn’t be in the service industry.”
― Swati M.H., Mother Pucker

“Shay sighs as her only response, and I know I have to bite the bullet. In all honesty, I’m wondering if biting an actual bullet might be less painful. Praying to Jesus internally, I take a bigger sip, rolling the mixture around my tongue like a wine sommelier. Except, this tastes nothing like wine . . . “There’s this,” I wave my hand, all while trying not to gag. “This meaty flavor coming through that wasn’t on your list.” “Oh right, I must have forgotten to mention it.” Uh huh. We know for damn sure she didn’t forget. “It’s bone broth and lima beans–” “Ah, yup.” I nod, placing the glass on the coffee table and hoping the one sip I had doesn’t have the rest of today’s meals coming back up. “That’ll do it.”
― Swati M.H., Mother Pucker

“This was never a friends with benefits situation for me; it’s always been more. So, when you take your time to think, just know there’s one more decision you’ll have to make–whether you want to go the distance with this because I’m ready to conquer every fucking mile and obstacle, if it means I get to do it with you.”
― Swati M.H., Mother Pucker

“Real funny, Dippy Doo.” He uses his nickname for Dylan. “I know it was you doing that thing with your voice again!”
― Swati M.H., Mother Pucker